All our ethics training will now be available free on our podcast The Coaching Inn. Find our first recording on iTunes, TuneIn and Stitcher. You can also listen through the website

Claire writes: “A couple of weeks ago I was in my favourite coffee shop. It was the final day of writing my chapter on partnership and power and I was feeling seriously disempowered. On the phone, one of my coaching buddies said ‘Maybe this is about rightsizing?’. That’s a new word to me. So I rightsized my anxiety, by screwing up a sticky note to represent it – and popped it in a convenient hole in the brick next to my table. What had felt enormous was, when rightsized, quite a manageable thing to overcome. If I may invent a new word, my overthinking had wrongsized it!

Now I am back on the road training, I notice that contracting in conversations is an opportunity to rightsize the question. Which means that you can do good thinking around a situation – as long as the question we are exploring is the right size for the time we have.

We use these questions to rightsize. The first letters form the word STOKeRS: 

  • SUBJECT – what do we need to think about today?
  • TIME – given that we have x minutes, what about that do we need to focus on?
  • OUTCOME – what would you like to be different by the end of our time?
  • KNOW – how will you know you have got what you need out of this time?
  • e
  • ROLE – how are we going to do this?
  • START – where shall we start?”

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2020

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: and send a copy/ link to If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!