Tag: working with people

3D Juggling 610: Siloes

Claire writes: “I’m not sure where the term silo working comes from, but we hear it all the time – in all kinds of places.  You hear it in the NHS, in business, in the church and in almost any place where you have people responsible for parts.

I heard a great idea this week, attributed to Michael Langrish: You’re not wholly responsible for a part. You’re partly responsible for the whole.

What might that look like?”

© 2013 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
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3D Juggling 607: Riddles and Risk

If you’ve been waiting for our next day for people wanting to work on communication, conflict and confidence using DiSC, we have now booked this at the Goldsmith’s Centre in Letchworth on Tuesday 4th June.

Claire writes: “I heard David Clutterbuck talking at the University of Hertfordshire recently where he described no less than six levels of listening – ranging from listening to argue to listening to help the other person understand.  Many of us are eager to listen to problem solve – especially at work or when someone comes with a thorny issue. His sixth and highest level is listening with the human eye and without intent – which is what we endeavour to do in coaching.

Listening is often more about listening to mystery and riddles than it is to making total sense and coming up with fully formed solutions. Rilke describes it well in Letters to a Young Poet (1934): “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now.”

Many of the challenges we encounter at work and in the world are complex.  As an article in Smithsonian magazine puts it, we would do well to know whether we are exploring a mystery or solving a puzzle.

© 2013 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
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3D Juggling 606: We’re both right

Claire writes: “Clare wrote about receiving feedback the other day, which got me thinking.  Sometimes we receive feedback supportively and choose to see it as a learning experience.  And sometimes it seems to push our buttons and we struggle to make sense of it – and probably take time and energy defending it.  It may be inappropriate, but often it’s just hard to receive and we want to be right.  To do that we feel that we need to make the other person wrong.

The concept of both being right is useful here. You’re right that you have one perception.  And your colleague is right that they have a very different perception. So the most important question is that if I am right and you are right, how do we take this forward?  It’s also great where there is conflict in meetings.”

© 2013 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
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3D Juggling 591: Enough is Enough

There is still a space on 27th November at the Action Learning Set Facilitator Training in London. WOuld you like to join us?  If you are ICF Member, the main sessions from the conference are now up on the website in the members area.  Worth watching!

Claire writes: “When I started 3D in the late 1990s, I had a landline and an Amstrad PCW.  Now we run most of the business on the cloud off phones, laptops and iPads!  Technology has really helped make working smarter, easier, faster…

But it’s quicker to email than to phone, it’s less hassle to text than to go and have a conversation face to face.  And there is considerable concern now from early advocates of technology that todays young adults are losing the ability to have conversations.  Sherry Turkle, talks on this TED lecture about her change of heart  And todays young adults didn’t get technologically savvy until they were 4 or 5 or 6 which raises questions about the iGeneration.

I remember advice from someone who used to be in sales:  For every 5 emails make a phone call, and for every ten try and meet up face to over a face to face coffee!

When’s enough eCommunication enough, and when is it time to meet? Think about it…?”

© 2012 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 585: Spanners and Kites

We’ve been busy in the last few weeks preparing to restructure the business so that it better reflects our values.  Watch this space and we will share when we get there!

Claire writes: “Misunderstandings happen all the time.  Every time we open our mouth, there’s a risk of a misunderstanding.  Mostly we are understood.  But at worst, misunderstandings take considerable recovery time and can affect organisations and relationships.

Sometimes we just need to be more clear.  If you are flying a kite, and raising possibilities (that don’t have a fully formed business plan) or thinking around a problem, say what you’re doing.  Otherwise your kite can be received as a spanner in the works.

When do you need to be clearer and stand in the shoes of your listener? Think about it…”

If it would be useful to talk this through, call us on 01462 483798.

© 2012 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 583: Generous Succession

Claire writes: ‘We have been captivated by the Paralympics and last Thursday saw gold after gold go to Team GB.  Most important, I think, is what can be learned from the generosity of Oscar Pistorious who failed to gain a medal and gave a generous interview saying that Jonny Peacock is the new generation of sprinters.

Good succession planning means generously passing the limelight onto the next generation. Business and organisations have much to learn from that interview.  where do we need to be pointing to upcoming colleagues and introducing them to others as the next generation? Where do we need to get over our own need for affirmation and put others in the limelight even when it might cost our ego?

And at the same time, how do we acknowledge to others those in generations before us and also thank them for their part in our journey. Mike Kenny is the British Paralympian with the most medals and has been barely mentioned by anyone this summer.  That’s where British sport and the world’s media may also have a lesson to learn.

What does your organisation need to do differently?  Think about it…’

© 2012 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 568: How much worry is too much?

Jane writes: ‘Some worry is good for us as being aware of risks makes us cautious and helps to keep us safe. But when worrying prevents us from taking any action at all we can feel powerless and defenceless – not a good place to be.

Maybe you worry about relationships at work, whether you’re performing well enough, how to balance several roles, or what the boss thinks of you. Working out what to do in these circumstances could make the difference between keeping safe or losing your job. Perhaps you need time to think. Who could help you to find that time and use it wisely? Think about it…’

© 2012 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Related research:
High intelligence and worry both correlate with brain activity measured by the depletion of the nutrient choline in the subcortical white matter of the brain. According to the researchers, this suggests that intelligence may have co-evolved with worry in humans.

3D Juggling 561: Through The Looking Glass

Claire writes:  “‘I didn’t mean it’.  How often have you heard that – at home or at work?  We judge ourselves on our intent. Yet we measure others by the impact which their communication has on us.

And that’s where most communication problems arise – where the impact is different from the intention. Especially when we are communicating with people whose style is very different from our own.

Think about it…”

And if you want to understand it even more, talk to us about how DiSC can help you be more confident that your impact is what you intended.
© 2012 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 560: Engagement

Claire writes: “If you are involved in any kind of training, you’ll know the energy that comes from an engaged group. You will also have an opinion about happy sheets and evaluations and ongoing learning.

We notice that there is always a dilemma about the balance between a performance that people will rate and learning that will transform. We also notice that, too often, the trainer takes responsibility for making the event work! Transformation comes when the responsibility is shared – even if the delegates may need to work harder!

Some questions we like are:

  • What needs to be different by the end of the day so that you go home and say it was a valuable use of your time?
  • What do we need to do to make sure that happens?
  • What do you need to do?
  • How will you know you’ve got what you need?

We write them up – and then at half time, we do it again – asking them to tick off if they have already got what they need – and amend the contract if we need to deliver different material or material in a different way.

Sharing responsibility appropriately in the training room can also mean that responsibility is shared more appropriately back at work.  Think about it…”

© 2012 3D Coaching Ltd

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

 

3D Juggling 558: Positive Feedback

Claire writes: “The other day I got some great customer service from someone and when we had finished on the phone, I asked to be put through to their manager.  After a long period of canned music, the phone was answered with a silence in which I heard: What on EARTH are you going to complain about?

‘Please can I give you some positive feedback on your colleague?’ was followed by another silence and then a great conversation.

Too often we forget to give positive feedback as willingly as we complain.

Think about it next time you get some great customer service…”

© 2012 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com