Claire writes: ‘For the last 30 years, we have played bridge with two special friends.  Because we see them infrequently, we don’t practice, and end up playing for fun.  Each time we play, we have to try and remember the rules.  

After a recent mini break with them, we decided to look for friends more locally who might play for fun.What we didn’t know is that one of them is very good and very experienced.  As the evening unfolded, he asked me if I’d like any tips. When they came, he offered just enough and not too much: .’Bid on your honours cards first’ (that was a new word for me and I worked it out). ‘Only bid if you have 5 or more cards in that suit.’ 

Every time he offered, he asked permission first and waited for me to agree.  And stopped at the end of one hint. Which is why I can remember them.  And why we are going back! It’s so easy to give too much information, and accidentally overwhelm our companion. Asking permission, waiting for consent, and then offering lightly are all components of great conversation.