5 Stories That Will Change How You Think About “Not Knowing”
Have you ever suddenly been dropped into the middle of uncertainty? That’s where Dr. Paul Taylor-Pitt found himself when his publisher went bankrupt on the eve of his book launch. Instead of hiding the setback, Paul shared it on podcast the next day (Season 5, Episode 55, “In the Middle of Not Knowing with Paul Taylor-Pitt”).
The conversation that emerged touched on vulnerability, identity, and staying with uncertainty. Here are 5 stories from our chat that can remind us how to live in the middle of not knowing.
1. The String of Paperclips
When developing his writing routine, Paul added a paperclip each day he wrote something, creating a tangible chain of progress. Over time he saw it as a metaphor for his professional life. He’s experimented in his career. He either enjoyed it or didn’t, or something worked or it didn’t, and then he moved on. The varied chain of experience expanded.
“I’m grateful I’m not stuck in one paperclip.”
Lesson: Life doesn’t have to be perfect, planned, or stale. You can keep adding new links and find enjoyment in variety and freshness.
2. The Book That Didn’t Launch
After years of work, Paul’s publisher folded days before his book release. He was in shock. Everything he’d put into the book was suddenly frozen. He had to deal with unexpected change.
“I’ve worked in the field of change for 20 years — and I don’t like it when it happens to me. But I’ve learned something about myself.”
Lesson: We all get shaken by change sometimes, no one is immune. It often brings with it new depths of understanding.
3. The “Superman” Reflex
His first instinct? Start his own publishing company to fix it all. Until he stopped and said to himself: “I’m Supermanning again.”
Paul realised he was trying to rescue something that wasn’t his to save. He let his agent take the reins.
Lesson: Not every crisis or dilemma is ours to fix.
4. The Wilderness and the Sandstorm
I shared with Paul a story from my five-day trek in the Sinai desert. When a sandstorm came from nowhere, I hid my face and was unable to see. When it cleared, the desert was covered in green plants.
It made me think: “Some things take a long time to change — and some can change instantly.”
Lesson: Growth often happens unexpectedly. One moment we can’t see something, the next moment we can.
5. Coming Out (Again)
When Paul couldn’t talk about his book early in the publishing process, he said it felt like being back in the closet. After his publisher went bust and the book was in limbo, he refused to hide again and pushed through the shame and embarrassment.
“I’m not going back in the closet” even if “I have to show some vulnerability and disappointment. What comes back in return is 10 million times the joy compared to that slight bit of pain and discomfort.”
Lesson: You can show up with your authentic voice, even if it hurts.
Final Thoughts
Maybe “not knowing” isn’t a problem to fix. In a way, if you always know where your life is going, you’re not living — and in many instances, it’s the wilderness where transformation begins.
Paul’s reflection at the end of our conversation is a compelling reminder of the aliveness and humility in the middle of not knowing:
“I am you. I don’t like not knowing. I don’t like uncertainty, don’t like ambiguity. And yet, how boring would it be to be certain about everything? Look at the world we’re living in at the moment with so many people who sound so certain about things that are so complex and unknowable. It’s theatre. It’s fiction. I’d much rather be in that place of not knowing, and be open about not knowing, than pretend there is some solution to this wildness of life.”
💬 Which of these stories resonates with you right now — the paperclips, the storm, the Superman reflex?
To be continued …