Tag: transformation

3D Juggling 687: We don’t need coaches

Claire writes: ‘The world and the workplace don’t need coaches. We simply need people who can think and think creatively. Some of us can get there more easily is we are in the company of another.

I always think that the most value in conversations I have with people is what happens in the hour (or week) after they have left… when the flow of their thinking starts making the most difference.

The real coaching happens after the session is over!’

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3D Juggling 686: Impact and intention

Claire writes: “We judge ourselves on our intention. If my intention is good, what I say is good. Except that my colleague judges me on the impact of what I have said. If it lands badly, we may take some hours, days or years to get over that. That’s why real play is useful. This means saying what we are thinking we might say out loud and hearing it to get a sense of whether its impact is what we intended.

Invite your colleague to try it out at different temperatures – say it in a very safe way. Now try it in a really challenging way.

  • Only a few groundrules
  • This works better if you stand up
  • We aren’t acting – and you are not taking the role of the person they are thinking of – you are just a face to talk to
  • For safety, it can be useful to put your hand up and move away so they are talking to your hand
  • Ask then – how did that sound – anything you want to change?

It might only take two or three goes, and it can make a significant difference to the quality of their conversation when it happens”

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3D Juggling 677: Eye to Eye

Claire writes: “We got a call the other day from someone who had decided to apply for a new role and wanted some support in thinking about what skills and experience he brings so that he could make a useful application.

Two days later he rang back and cancelled. By looking the opportunity in the eye, and committing to apply, he had recognised that this was not for him at the moment.

It’s easy to wonder from a distance. It’s easier to decide if you look it in the eye. So a useful coaching question can be ‘Go on then’ … ‘How does that feel?’ It is a way of looking a choice in the eye in the room (as long as you work to look an opposite choice in the eye as well!)

© 2015 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Juggling 676: Double Time

Claire writes: ‘When I do a coaching demonstration at training events, I invite the person who has been coached to go and sit alone while everyone else reflects on what they have observed. It’s a boundary we keep to help them stay safe and keep everyone else from finishing the story!

Yet what I observe is that the transformation continues while they are sat alone – and they always know new things at the end of the silence than they did at the end of the coaching. Some people write pages of new thinking!

When Nick coaches, he recommends that people put post-reflection time alone in after the conversation to continue thinking. Coaching is a process. A session is a very small part of it. Free time adds value!
© 2015 3D Coaching Ltd
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Transformational Questions – a conversation

A conversation for church leaders about transformational questions – with our friend Val Hastings from Coaching4Clergy

 

3D Juggling 650: Know It All

2011 Kirsty EldertonCongratulations to Kirsty who has been awarded the Associate Certified Coach credential from the ICF!  We are hoping to hear results back soon from a bunch of internal NHS coaches who have been through the credentialling process to add value to the coaching they do at work.

Claire writes: “There are 5642 books on Amazon about mastery.  The dictionary talks about mastery either as expertise or as domination.  I have to say I prefer the former.

Mastery as ‘knowing it all’ is quite a disabling belief for those of us who don’t feel that we know it all. I’m a Master coach, and in conversation with a colleague with the same qualification this week, we were noticing that mastery is quite definitely a journey and certainly not a destination.

This week I have been observing some people in a charity who are trying to develop using coaching at work.  They were facilitating great conversations far more effectively than I observed last time we met.  They are masters.  They don’t know it all, but they are getting enough confidence in what they are doing to be able to be effective.

It’s the same with the end of term music events for those of you with school age children.  Mastery comes from the developing of inner confidence – not just from knowing the right notes.”

© 2014 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Juggling 648: Getting Practical

Claire writes: “Daughter #2 has passed her driving theory test.  The next step is to up the practice for the practical.  She won’t be turning her head to the back seat to check the Highway Code mid lesson, although she may refer to the theory from time to time.

McCall, Lombardo and Eichinger’s surveyed high-performing managers (The Career Architect Development Planner, 1996) revealing that:

“Lessons learned by successful and effective managers are roughly:

  • 70% from tough jobs
  • 20% from people (mostly the boss)
  • 10% from courses and reading”

Which affirms the value of mentoring and taking time to reflect on practical learning.”

© 2014 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Juggling 635: Beyond Conversation

Listen to Claire talking about coaching at work 23 January 2014 8 AM Pacific / 11 AM Eastern / 4pm UK time on BlogTalk Radio

Claire writes: “Sometimes we can use a lot of words to explain something. Sometimes an insight from a song or an image or a poem can do that much more significantly.

TS Eliot’s Four Quartets are a case in point and were broadcast in Saturday Drama on Radio 4 It’s worth a listen. If you’ve missed the iPlayer window, the text is here.

What poetry or images are transformational for you? Please share on the blog.”

© 2014 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Juggling 612: Not Knowing

Claire writes: ” “The more serious mistakes are not being made as a result of wrong answers. The truly dangerous thing is asking the wrong question.” said Peter Drucker. That’s food for thought in a world where the greatest challenge of our time is about holding uncertainty.  What is the question when you have to make 4% cuts? Or redundancies? Or serve the needs of paymaster and service user? Shareholders and staff? or donors and partners?

Asking questions takes time, and can bring a vulnerability because realise that we are showing we are not in control.  Yet true wisdom can hold the not knowing – and often the way forward emerges from the waiting. Can’t resist a quote from TS Eliot’s East Coker –

 

“I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought”

Holding uncertainty is also about holding your nerve in that in between waiting time, I think.”

© 2013 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Juggling 597: Coffee – real or instant?

Happy New Year! We hope that you had a good break. We are delighted to announce our new line up for 2013. Alan Gyle and Nicola McGinty will be joining the 3D team.  Both have extensive experience working with groups and team and individuals.  This is also a chance to say thank you to Nadia Evans who is now living in Dubai, and Liz Ford who will be leaving before Easter.  It’s been great to have them both as part of our journey.

Claire writes: “I have switched off so completely over the Christmas break that it’s taking focus to reengage – and I thought I had nothing to say. But inspiration came over the expresso maker! As a coffee snob, I like the real stuff and love the way you pack the expresso maker and then leave it to do its work.

Sometimes in conversations, I notice, we hope for great results while we are in dialogue with the other person.  On occasions real results come much later – perhaps days or even months – and are of a greater depth and quality than those that come in the moment.  Here’s an email we received just before Christmas from someone we worked with a couple of years ago: “…one of the things it made me really understand is just how long learning can go on for – even after the actual ‘learning’experience. A lot of the things we talked about when we were working together made a certain kind of sense at the time, but they’ve come to make even more sense in the [time since]… I’ve been able to make a different kind of sense of them”

Real coffee takes time to brew.  Not all learning is instant!  Think about it…”

© 2013 3D Coaching Ltd
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