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Tag: silence

3D Juggling 537: Say Nothing

Jane writes: “Catharsis, when someone leaps to a new understanding, happens when they are paying attention to what is going on ‘inside’ them, not when they are paying attention to what we are saying.  At this point they do not need any verbal or physical (e.g. nods, shrugs etc) interventions from us.  We need to be silent.

To serve others well we need to be able to pay attention to them – their words, what is not being said, what is being communicated without them realising it via their eyes, tone of voice and body language.  When we tune into these things we are able to judge when to allow silences.  An inexperienced coach will ask a question, the experienced coach will wait.  The experienced coach will not be concerned for them self (what should I be doing?  What should I say?).  They will only be concerned for the other person.

For silence to be fully effective there needs to be total trust between those involved.  If you feel uncomfortable with it, they may as well.  Think of yourself as being a relaxed and respectful fellow traveller whose attention is in the space between you, sensing what will be most useful.  Don’t be tempted to fill the space with noise, it’s not always useful. Duck tape is! Think about it…”

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 491: A Time to Share…. and a time to stay quiet

Su writes: “I arrived very early at the office this morning in order to get some outstanding work completed. In a large open plan office there is just me and one other colleague, head down,  working.  I fly through my work but with a sense of calm and enjoyment which comes from the knowledge that I am not going to be interrupted. It is nice to have the quiet companionship of a co-worker. The only sounds come from the clicking of the keys and the gentle white noise of the office.

It crosses my mind that I should turn round and tell my colleague what a good way to work this is, without the interruptions and with this calming peace around….. then I realise that to do this would be to destroy it. I would become an interruption.

Best to keep that gem to myself. Knowing when and when not to share is my first lesson today.”

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 471: Listen!

Claire writes: ‘Did you know that SILENT and LISTEN contain the same letters…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Try it!

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who likes to talk!

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 412: WAIT

Claire writes: “One of my supervisees arrived the other day with a piece of paper which he takes to training events. It says WAIT. Why Am I Talking? What a great tool to have in front of you in a group or a committee!

When she is having a conversation, Nancy Kline, asks people to indicate when they have done all their thinking lest she interrupt their silence before they are ready to move on.”

“Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence.” Jorge Luis Borges

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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