Claire writes: “It’s not unusual in a 1-1 to be talking to someone and to ask them what they might do… and they say they don’t know.  That makes us think we need to suggest, or advise, or step back and leave them drowning in a lack of ideas.

Just because they don’t know what to do does not mean we have to tell them.  A coaching skill that can be useful across a variety of 1-1s is what we call scoping.  Some people just need to think about options.  When we are coaching someone to become more fluent in doing something (skills coaching), I might say “We could look at it like this, or this, or this.  How else might we do that? Which would be most helpful to start?”  It’s useful when someone wants to change career and doesn’t know what to do – “We could think about skills, marketing and CVs, dreams and hopes, maths, influencing or all sorts of things.  Where is a good place to start?”

And when people are stuck on deciding a course of action in a situation they need to think about, gas cooking can help: “So you could choose to do nothing. That could be no heat.  Or you could choose to do [something extreme].  If that was Gas Mark 9, what would a Gas Mark 4 reaction be? What about 7?”  That helps them generate more ideas.  Somehow naming the ends creates more creativity to find a middle way.

What do you do to help people get through being stuck at work?”

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