‘How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?’ Dr. Seuss
“Lynn writes: “I have just had a meeting with a client who was 50 minutes late for her appointment. This was 20 minutes late for what she believed was her appointment time and 30 minutes after the actual time we had arranged. Resisting the urge to be annoyed, or to say ‘It’s OK’ – which it wasn’t, I reflected on where the accountability should lie in what had happened. What should I be doing, firstly to hold myself accountable, and secondly to hold him accountable?
So I started our discussion not with ignoring or blame or minimising the impact, but with learning. ‘The learning for me is that a reminder text or e-mail yesterday would have been useful and appropriate. What have you learned?’
What followed was a deep and far reaching discussion in which he was able to honestly and openly see his tendency to cram too many activities into the day and his recognition that he is often chasing his tail, feeling guilty, disorganised and fraught.
By being honest and paying attention to keeping the responsibility between us, he now knows why he was late and what he needs to do if he chooses to change this behaviour and potential consequences if he doesn’t.
Where do you need to be keeping the responsibility in the middle? Think about it…”
[So by analysing the accountability we were able to see that as his coach it is appropriate for me to be managing his progress and accountability (and part of his progress is ensuring he knows when his appointments are) but it is not holding him accountable for his actions – it is about enabling him to hold himself accountable. ]
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