Claire writes: ‘Do you ever find yourself talking at cross purposes with someone else? You’re trying to give something away and they think you want to sell it. Or you’re trying to say something great to the children and they think you’re going to tell them off. That happenend the other day when I called Lucy downstairs with some great news… except I obviously also call her down to tell her off as that was exactly what she thought was happening! The good news took a while to land.
The powerfulness of a conversation comes when both parties think they are having the same kind of conversation. Sounds simple. But how often are you affirming and your colleague thinks you are performance managing? Or do you do peer supervision and you think it’s one thing and colleagues think it’s something else? It doesn’t matter what you call your dialogue – but it does matter if you’re not on the same wavelength.
Coaching skills of asking questions, reflecting back etc are an important part of being a manager, a supervisor, a mentor, a counsellor, a pastor,… And a powerful coaching conversation doesn’t include management, supervision, mentoring, or counselling. Or rescuing. The power of the conversation comes from the simplicity and both having the same understanding of what’s happening.’
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