Claire writes: “It’s not unusual for people to come to one to one conversations hoping that we can help them achieve amazing things! And asking someone what they would like to be different by the end of a conversation can evoke all kinds of answers including:

  • I want my Mum to like me
  • I’ll have lost 10kg
  • That meeting I’m worried about will go really well
  • These are all (sort of) great things to bring to coaching. And the challenge is that we can’t impact how someone’s Mum behaves, we can’t do liposuction in an hour and that meeting still won’t have started by the end of our conversation today!

These are all (sort of) great things to bring to coaching. And the challenge is that we can’t impact how someone’s Mum behaves, we can’t do liposuction in an hour and that meeting still won’t have started by the end of our conversation today!

So we need to be realistic without minimising – because we can do some good work together.  Minimising sounds like ‘we can’t possibly do that big thing justice here’.  Being realistic sounds like ‘how will you know by the end of this conversation that we have moved your thinking forward a bit?’. Because that’s all we need to do. And once they start moving forward, the movement is likely to continue.

So make sure you are talking about something that they can influence. If you’re not sure ask them: What’s in your gift?”

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Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2021