Claire writes: “Noticing what’s going on in conversations is much easier when we are observing than when we are in the thick of it. I have known for a long time that being useful is more effective than being helpful. This week, in conversation, there was some useful insight into what makes that true.
- When I say “Is this helpful?” I may be implying “Am I being helpful?”
- When I say “Is this useful?” I am asking “Is what we are doing together useful?”
It’s not about what I do that makes a conversation useful – it’s about what we do together.”
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