Claire writes: “In a conversation, it’s easy to slip in to answering the questions we are asked. That is especially true when trust is high. At 3D we encourage people to learn to be feisty thinkers and to say whether a question is useful or not.
But who decides how deep a conversation needs to go? In every conversation and in every life, there is plenty under the surface. Sometimes that’s useful to explore and probe and deepen and sometimes it isn’t. A coaching style workes equally well when we are thinking about what we do, how we might do it, and who we are. But we need to ask permission to go deeper. ‘Are we going deeper?’ is a great question. And using a coaching style at work, let’s remember that even when deeper may be useful, it may not be useful with a colleague. I sometimes ask: ‘That thing we are not talking about, have you somewhere safe where you are processing it?’ That names the depth and leaves the person who is thinking in control.”
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