Claire writes: “‘Assume good intent’ is a great attitude when it comes to working with people. And ‘first do no harm’ is a philosophy in medicine.  When it comes to any role that requires us to have conversations with others, attitude, philosophy and ethics are important . So I’d like to add my own ethical stance: ‘Beware of accidentally disempowering’.

When I start leading in a conversation, the person I am talking to is likely to start following me.  Suddenly it’s my conversation not theirs.  In some situations that’s fine – but it’s not fine if you did it accidentally when they were meant to be leading, and you overtook.

When I am too empathic, my ‘Oh no/ Oh dear’ tone can break partnership.  If this person is in deep distress, and yet the only thing they have left is their personal power, I need to behave in a way that acknowledges that and enables it to grow. 

And when I jump in with my unsolicited good ideas, I may be accidentally disempowering someone by saying ‘…because I don’t think you can do this without my ideas.’

As Michael Bungay Stanier, author of the Advice Trap says: “There are reasons why your ideas are often not that great. To start with, you don’t have the full picture. You’ve got a few facts, a delightful collection of baggage, a robust serving of opinion, and an ocean of assumption. You think you understand what’s happening. Your brain is designed to find patterns and make connections that reassure you that you know what’s going on. Trust me, you don’t. What you’ve got is one part truth and about six parts conjecture.”

Partnership matters!”

You can now listen to this blog through our podcast The Coaching Inn Become a regular by signing up on iTunes or podbean.  

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2021

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!