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3D Ideas 935: My Way

Claire writes: “Follow the leader was a game I remember playing in the school playground.  In those days we would rotate who the leader was in every game. Mostly. 

As adults I notice that we fall into the same pattern of following the leader. The person who is perceived to have the most power leads how the conversation goes – even when they think they are being collaborative. “Shall we do this first” is heard as “We will do this first”. “Let’s finish” is heard as “we must finish now”.

We encourage people to ask the question: “How shall we do this?” at the beginning of any conversation which can be collaborative (because sometimes the leader does need to lead).  Even though most people can’t answer, what  you have actually said is: “because we don’t need to do it my way”. Even if you don’t think you’re taking the power and leading, when your companion gives you the power, you still have it and they are following your lead.

Someone commented this week: The normal answer to “How shall we do this?” is “I don’t know…” but the flow of thought that I have seen coming after that is incredible. 

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