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3D Ideas 918: Whose Question is it?

Claire writes: “I’ve been listening to people from all over the world having conversations with one another this week – and exploring with them how to work more simply. I’m learning loads.

When people talk with someone about their own stuff, they often ask themselves questions – out loud – and in their head.  This week I have heard a thinking partner answer the question – because they hear it as a request for information. Another thinking partner heard a question and then thought for a long time as they turned it into a question they asked back… which had less impact than the question  the thinker asked themselves. And I heard someone stay silent and allow the thinker to find a way through. It was like watching the thinker squeeze quality ingredients out of a tube.  This was followed by another silence and even more good stuff came out.

Noticing when someone is asking their own question is an art that is hard to learn when you are the thinking partner. You’ll learn it when you’re listening to the radio or watching TV or listening back to recordings of your own coaching.  That’s the place to refine this deep art.  Another way is to commit never to break the silence until someone asks for a question or an observation – whether that’s verbal or visual. My learning this week is that this is much easier to see someone ask for a question – or indeed tell you they don’t want one yet – on Zoom than it is face to face. Try it!”

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2020

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