3D Ideas 854: Who has the power?

Claire writes: “We have run a few courses in the last month where organisations are hoping that a coaching style will enable people to pass on responsibility and knowledge in their encounters with others.

The challenge is that people do what they normally do when they are where they normally are.  If we have sat in this place in numerous conversations where you have taken the responsibility, you using different words will probably make little difference!  The reason for that is that although you can learn not to take the responsibility, if I give it to you, you still have it!

Here are a few things that we know make a difference – we’d love you to comment on the blog and add your own:

  1. Have the conversation in a different place
  2. Move more
  3. Know that the more words you use, the more you look like the expert – even when you’re not
  4. Don’t start doing the work until we know
    • What are we doing today?
    • How shall we do it?
    • How will we know we have done it
    • You’re probably familiar by now with our STOKeRS questions – the R question – what role shall I take? –  or more simply ‘how are we going to do this’ almost always elicits the answer ‘I don’t know’.  It is important to ask because you are beginning by suggesting ‘I don’t know the best way for us to do this – I won’t do it my way – let’s work it out together’.  So that when you check in a few minutes later ‘Is this useful?’ You are more likely to get an honest answer!
  5. We blogged in February about Landing the plane and how perceived power can affect the end of conversations

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2019

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2 thoughts on “3D Ideas 854: Who has the power?

  1. Esther Elliott says:

    The old “which hat would you like me to wear?” question is one I continually come back to. It works either at the start, at the end or as a response to someone asking for a response from me. Almost as useful is “which hat do you think I’m wearing?” And “which hat are you hoping I won’t put on?”.

    1. So many hat questions – thank you!

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