“Just thought I’d share with you… I have only ever used the buttons that you showed us at Transforming Conversations in the training setting although intending to find an opportunity to use it. Last week, though, I was coaching a couple who work together and have multiple connections between, work, family, church, friends, etc. So I decided to go with it. I explained the concept of systems and asked them to map out their system with the buttons, working together.
At first, I thought it was a bit mundane and wondered if it would work. I said nothing, just watched them and noted down a couple of phrases they used that I thought were revealing. Then after a few minutes, I could see them both start to get red faced, breathing got shallower as they got frustrated with each other and not being able to express themselves. I just kept watching until the husband looked up at me and, with no words, his face and eyes were shouting ‘help’. Me: “This is hard for you isn’t it?”. Both together: “Yes!”. Moments silence…Me: “So what is happening?” Then it all came out and it become a really powerful session for them as they started to work out what their priorities are to keep life, their relationship, other relationships and their organisation all healthy.
So, thank you. I finally took the courage in my hands and tried something a bit different to talking and general use of movement, matching, mis-matching, etc. It was amazing for me to observe how I didn’t need to do anything at all or say very much for it to be really powerful! But I guess you have seen that a few times!”
© 2018 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to email@example.com Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email