Claire writes: “It’s a privilege to observe people in real time 1-1 conversations as part of training or development they do with us. I watch people lean in ready to offer some sage advice, with good intention, or listen carefully so they can come up with the solution they think they are being asked to find. Often we are keen to make our contribution even on subjects where we are no expert! That’s made me think a lot about power.
Mads Morgan, who uses coaching in her role, once remarked ‘there’s only a certain amount of power in the room so if I take it, I have taken it from someone else.’ What concerns me is that when you see this happening, you can often see the other person diminishing. In Somebodies and Nobodies: Overcoming the Abuse of Rank, Fuller describes this as somebodying and nobodying. In coaching we try and keep responsibility in the middle to avoid the abuse of power and it’s a delicate position to hold. I like TS Eliot’s notion – ‘Teach us to care and not to care. Teach us to sit still.’ How often do we unintentionally nobody someone by over-caring? “
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