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Category: working with people

3D Ideas 939: The Man in the Drain

Last week, we launched the #3DBookGroup with drinks at our virtual pub, The Coaching Inn. Our first book is Simplifying Coaching. If we like it, we will read other books together over time! Every week, we read a chapter.  Ask your questions and share observations in the pinned book group thread on our social media channels or by emailing info@3dcoaching.com  Then once a week, we will share questions, insights and reflections through a podcast on last week’s chapter on The Coaching Inn

Claire writes: “We have been in our new house for just over a month and the builders have been snagging (sorting a few things that weren’t quite right).  One day, I was happily working away in my new home office, and had to explain to Ray, the decorator, that I can’t be disturbed when the door is closed because I am in a meeting.  Ray was here for a few days and eventually asked me what I do. That was the day that Simplifying Coaching was sitting in the top 20 Amazon Business Books – so he shared my celebration!  Two days later, a bloke was in the sewer outside clearing out stones that had fallen into the drain during the groundworks.  All you could see was his head.  I went out to offer coffee and he said ‘I hear you’re a famous author’.  I don’t think I am – but clearly Ray had been talking.  The foreman came over and joined in. ‘What’s the book about?’ Now that’s a test of how much I can practice what I preach!

“If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” is a quote attributed to Einstein. Whoever said it was right.  I asked the foreman what he did when Drain Bloke had a problem. ‘I tell him all the things he should do’, he said.  ‘That means yadayada’ said Drain Bloke. I suggested he ask Drain Bloke ‘What’s your question about what you’ve found?’  They got it! I shared the quote … and they said I passed the test!”

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2021

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

3D Ideas 937: Networks – energising or unspeakable?

Claire writes: “This morning, it was a privilege to be part of the launch of a network. But when the request came in a couple of weeks ago to talk about The Power of Networks, my immediate reaction was to scream inside – I don’t like networking!  There was a season in my life when I tried a few networking meetings.  That’s some time I’ll never get back.  It felt like blind dating and selling – and elevator pitches aren’t my thing.

So I have just come off the call where I shared some more personal stuff – and the energy from the group has energised me. So here’s a bit of what I said

  1. Everyone has a story – you’re never ‘the only one’. Your story has good bits and challenging bits
  2. A network can stand with us in solidarity. We are not alone. This is about connections. They can be our cloud of witnesses and travel with us for a season
  3. As we get to know a small number of people more deeply, we can strengthen and resource one another.  I’ve been part of what I call my wisdom circle to get that
  4. Friends who will sympathise and empathise are important.  And so is a group who will offer challenge as well as support
  5. A network outside the echo chamber of your team, department or organisation can offer a different perspective that is safe and brings a diversity and creativity to our thinking
  6. It’s great to be heard. In a group of 6-8 people we are heard 6-8 more times than in a 1-1… as well as getting new insights
  7. Networks contain people who know things we don’t know. Asking ‘who do you know who knows about jobs in XYZ’ opens up a huge community. (I am directly connected to 1700 people on LinkedIn – they are directly connected to 346000!)
  8. Know why you’re there and remember this is about giving and receiving

We are not alone – there is strength in having a tribe where we can navigate our journeys with others who travel with us for a season.  (Now I have my standing desk and more space, it also felt liberating to be able to do a talk with a standing up voice!)

My part in this network has been to train hosts to use action learning to support small groups to do good work together.  Happy to talk more about how you can do this – if that’s useful?

You can now listen to this blog through our podcast The Coaching Inn Subscribe on iTunes or podbean.  

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2021

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

3D Ideas 897: Whose job?

Claire writes: “Under pressure, with the best of intentions, many leaders end up taking too much responsibility.  Emma is a Head Teacher and describes this better than I can:

“A year after participating in the inspirational Transforming Conversations training led by Claire, I can truly say the school I lead and manage has been transformed! A year ago there was an overwhelming dependency on me as headteacher to solve everyone’s problems and find solutions. Since applying the STOKeRS approach there is a greater sense of shared responsibility for identifying and overcoming barriers to school improvement. Today staff unwittingly find themselves using the approach to support one another other more effectively – and I no longer feel overwhelmed by shouldering the burden of others. I cannot recommend this training highly enough!”

This is a great example of how you can create a coaching culture by starting to have conversations differently.  When that works well, and it’s simple, others can easily engage differently themselves – as Emma says, unwittingly.  STOKeRS is simply a few questions to ask to ensure that we don’t start a conversation until we know what we are talking about today, how we will do that and how, today, we will know that we have done what we needed to do.”

If you want to learn more, join me for the next online training starting in September on Thursday afternoons.

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2020

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

3D Ideas 889: Small World

Claire writes: “I have just hosted a group from four nations.  We are all in lockdown. Isolation is simultaneously creating more distance and closer connections between some groups of people across the world.  

In conversation with a coaching friend yesterday, we observed that until a few weeks ago, we were living in a world that has become self-centred.  It has been all about what I want and what I can offer.  In the new world, we are forced to work in service of the greater good. Suddenly we are choosing to take actions in service of the world.  Our gift to others right now is to stay where we are.

 

This thing we do – offering a place to think that is supportive and challenging – is needed now more than ever. We are noticing that big things won’t change – like on-site training until a number of things are met:

  • people are in the new normal enough to have time to think new things
  • we have processed enough of the emotion from lockdown to be in the head space for different stuff
  • and we can be in the same physical space.

 

Meanwhile, we are delivering almost all our training online in different shapes and sizes.  The value of coaching to keep leaders company in their thinking is more important now than ever – so pick up the phone if you want to talk: 07823 497967”

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2020

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

3D Ideas 888: Juggling

Claire writes: “On one of my long lunchtime walks last week, Alan and I were on the phone talking about leadership.  We were thinking about how the lockdown is raising questions for leaders:

  • what do we drop?
  • what do we hold lightly?
  • and how do we open our hands to have the capacity to receive

Great Leaders don’t cling to stuff. They lay some things down gently. They throw some away, and they hold some things more lightly so they can pick up other things

The adeptness of the juggler is management. And an essential hidden skill of leadership.”

We are aware that you might be overwhelmed with work or family responsibilities and you may have too much space. If learning is part of your lockdown life, we have a variety of online opportunities for CPD that start after Easter and runs through the early part of the summer:

DIP – we continue to record our free Coaching Inn podcasts with interesting people. The ethics ones can be used for coaches looking for the 3 hours ethics training required by ICF. Or join Claire for a complimentary hour to Refresh what you are learning about coaching.

DIVE – the world is experiencing trauma at one level or another – join Claire and Liz Behnke for a half day training (29th April) for coaches wanting to be mental health aware.

Action Learning is a great way to develop people and we have been running training to facilitate this online for a number of years. Next online training starts 21st May.

DEEP DIVE – if you are looking for some high quality coach training or CPD, join Claire on Lockdown Tuesdays for 24 hours of live Masterclasses on each of the new ICF Core Competencies – with a Practicum each week. (50% discount on normal online cost – and you can pay in installments).

Mentor Coaching Group if you are renewing your  ACC starts 8 June, and Peronel is ready to start a new mentor coaching group for anyone going for ACC or PCC on Mondays 16.30-17.30 (UK)

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2020

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

 

3D Ideas 887: Love, Leadership and Trauma

Claire writes: “‘Too much, too fast, too soon’ is Peter Levine’s definition of trauma. The covid 19 lockdown across the world has been huge and come with almost no warning. Even for those with a safe home, the change in lifestyle has been traumatic – before we begin to look at the impact of loss and grief on workplaces, families and communities. The ways in which we have led need to adapt and change. Everyone is experiencing some level of trauma. 

A few weeks ago, I met Sarah Broscombe for the first time. We were chatting in Zoom about stuff and got onto the topic of power. There is a chapter in my book about power, presence and partnership.  The conversation was so interesting that we agreed to reconvene last Friday to record a podcast. Little did we know that the world was about to change. You can listen here – it’s about 20 minutes long.  

At the end of our conversation, Sarah talks about Martin Luther King as a great example of leading in a situation that feels almost impossible. He said that “Power properly understood is nothing but the ability to achieve purpose. It is the strength required to bring about social, political and economic change. … What is needed is a realisation that power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anaemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.”

 

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2020

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

 

Podcast – Using Coaching with Groups

Su talking with Claire about how you can apply what we know about 1-1 conversations with groups and PCC meetings.

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3D Ideas 869: Time Lag

Claire writes: “It maybe that I am a bit preoccupied with stuff at the moment, but I seem to have stumbled over a useful idea.

Several times recently family or colleagues have brought something big to a conversation when I wasn’t expecting it.  Every time I have acknowledged the thing and invited them to ask me again in a few days time. I haven’t consciously been thinking about the thing.  And I have noticed that when they have come back we have both moved on in our thinking which has led to some very productive conversations.

I wonder if this is another example of the best work happening in the space in between?”

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2019

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

3D Ideas 864: What can only I do?

Without doubt, the best way to escalate our learning as coaches is to watch coaching as much as it is to practice it. It is in the noticing chair where we notice all the things we miss when we are focusing on asking quality questions! If you’re trained as a coach with 3D or elsewhere, Join Claire P for a one-off two hour practicum 7th October.

Claire writes: “A warm welcome to Ness Callis who has joined us as admin assistant.  Ness has joined us to make sure that we have the capacity to continue to deliver high quality work.  It means that we are working out, in the office, who does what.

I was inspired by an article from the Alban Institute which asked the question of leaders ‘What can only I do?’ It’s a very useful question.  It informs our decisions from admin tasks through to deployment and delivery.  Sometimes the answer to the question is the right answer. Sometimes it means that we have to share knowledge more.  It is not OK that I am the only one who can descale the coffee machine!

We don’t always get it right. And it’s always useful to hold the question.”

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2019

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

3D Ideas 863: What’s it for?

Claire writes: “Our job is to have conversations where people want to move forward.  They come to these conversations for all kinds of reasons. Some don’t know why they have come.  When they do, it seems to be one of these. They come:

  • with a particular thing to explore – doing something differently, or being different
  • when they are stuck
  • as they are transitioning to a new job, or project
  • to think about endings or moving forward
  • or because they just need a place outside their context – family or organisation where, over time, they would like an external thinking partner or critical friend
  • for a reason they can’t articulate

What will be useful always starts with knowing what the conversation/s will be for. Only then can we take a stab at how long, how often or how many.  Because often one conversation can be enough. Which is why we do so much single session coaching.

This thinking emerged in conversation with Adrian Goodall PCC.  In coaching, we are about moving forward – although glancing back can be useful sometimes.  If the conversation that’s needed is to have a good look back, that requires a different conversation with a different kind of practitioner.”

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2019

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

 

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