Category: working with people

3D Ideas 863: What’s it for?

Claire writes: “Our job is to have conversations where people want to move forward.  They come to these conversations for all kinds of reasons. Some don’t know why they have come.  When they do, it seems to be one of these. They come:

  • with a particular thing to explore – doing something differently, or being different
  • when they are stuck
  • as they are transitioning to a new job, or project
  • to think about endings or moving forward
  • or because they just need a place outside their context – family or organisation where, over time, they would like an external thinking partner or critical friend
  • for a reason they can’t articulate

What will be useful always starts with knowing what the conversation/s will be for. Only then can we take a stab at how long, how often or how many.  Because often one conversation can be enough. Which is why we do so much single session coaching.

This thinking emerged in conversation with Adrian Goodall PCC.  In coaching, we are about moving forward – although glancing back can be useful sometimes.  If the conversation that’s needed is to have a good look back, that requires a different conversation with a different kind of practitioner.”

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2019

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3D Ideas 846: Mentoring


Claire writes: “A useful conversation with someone this morning led to them asking me to work with them in a hybrid set of roles.  Although the purist definition is that in coaching you never offer in any advice, we have been learning some interesting stuff in these hybrid conversations.

Aaron Albury says that coaching is holding up a mirror while mentoring is holding up a map. I’d say that mentoring is offering to hold up a map, if that’s useful!

In listening to lots of 1-1 conversations every week, I notice a couple things.

  1. Trying to avoid saying ‘have you thought about’ leads to complex questions which sort of have the answer in them and slow things down
  2. Saying ‘have you thought about?’ with more than a few words risks the thinker feeling flooded with solutions that they may well have thought about already

More and more I am saying ‘would it be useful for me to (briefly!) think out loud?’.  It works because I can scope a breadth of what I am thinking about without going into detail.  It feels less judging. And they can pick up on words or ideas that resonate. Or when I was demonstrating it in a group where someone ran coach training, I said ‘would it be useful for me to say what we do?’  He said yes, so I shared it in a sentence. There was silence. And it gave him a breakthrough – he said ‘Got it! I know what I’ll do. It’s [something totally different from what I said and it came from him usefully processing what he heard]’..

And when we are mentoring someone to support them to grow, it may be useful to give them the inside track on how we make decisions.”

© 2019 3D Coaching Ltd

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3D Ideas 825: More than diagnosing

Sam, our health coach, writes: “As health professionals our desire to ‘fix it’ can sometimes get in the way of our patients living a more meaningful life. Here’s an example – In her 20’s she noticed her eye sight getting worse. She was prescribed eye drops to stop the disease progressing but it wouldn’t reverse the damage already done. Her eye drops affected her throat and left her unable to sing. Singing was her first love. She decided to stop using her drops as being unable to sing was much worse for her than not being able to see. She now makes her living from her voice.

Looking at things from a different perspective, the patient’s perspective, will deliver a multitude of additional options that will have a significant impact on their health. An impact that may be different to what the doctor ordered!

That ‘fix it’ mentality plays out in all the organisations in which we find ourselves and is why a coaching approach can be so useful. It’s also why we teach leaders to notice and not diagnose or prescribe.”

Sam is hosting a free webinar for health workers who are Band 7 and above who are interested in finding out more about the work we are doing around health conversations. Join Sam and Claire in our Zoom Room on 17th January 16.30-17.00 (UK). Feel free to share this invitation with anyone you know.

© 2018 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Ideas 808: Pot Bound?

Claire writes: “I can still remember starting out on this journey of coaching and asking someone I respected for one tip. ‘Make sure that you spend time with people who are better than you’, she said.

That insight has been really useful personally and professionally.  I notice that leaders don’t always disclose to those they lead that they too are still learning.  When they do it has a huge impact on their organisation.

I’m sure we are all a bit pot-bound and it’s life giving to know there is always more to learn. Years ago, a colleague Judith reminded me ‘It is better to travel hopefully than to arrive‘. Onwards!”

© 2018 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Ideas 797: Anywhere

Sam writes: “This morning I walked through the hospital with a senior nurse, a walk that takes around 5 minutes. He shared with me work he was involved with to support the well documented NHS winter pressures. He told me about a system that nobody really understood and an intervention that nobody agreed on. As we walked I continued to ask questions whilst he considered his thoughts.

At one point he said to me, ‘you don’t turn off the coaching do you?’. We continued our walk and he began to consider something new as we parted ways.

Coaching doesn’t always happen in a booked room at a prearranged time. Using a coaching approach as we go about our day to day business is just as useful to the people who need to do the thinking.”

© 2018 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Ideas 791: Finishing

Congratulations to Claire and her friend Margaret Gray who are today’s recipients of the Prime Minister’s Points of Light award,  which recognises outstanding volunteers who are making a change in their community and inspiring others. (It’s never too late to sponsor them as they are less than £1500 away from their £50000 target!)

Claire writes: “Completer Finisher is not my greatest strength. That is why teams are important when they can engage everyone’s strengths to achieve whatever we set out to achieve.

I unexpectedly formed a team when I asked a few friends to come for a walk last February with the hope that we would raise some awareness and some money for the Motor Neurone Disease Association. We certainly did that. Completing the 12 walks in 12 month target has been down to the determination of many around us who have motivated me to keep going. That’s true in each half marathon walk. The final 4 miles are a slog and each of us have learned the bits we like and the stretches where we struggle the most. We are learning to make sure that at that stage we have the right people round us. In November, Carol and I fell off the back of the pack and found it increasingly difficult to keep going. In December we headed into that last 3 miles at the front resolved that we would keep a steady pace. And it worked. It’s not about being good at everything – it’s all about team work.”

© 2017 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email

 

3D Ideas 763: Modelling

Congratulations to Su Blanch who has been awarded the ACC credential from the International Coaching Federation
Claire writes: “‘Let us all be the leaders we wish we had’ says Simon Sinek in the last sentence of his book Leaders Eat Last.
The most common feedback I hear from second and third level leaders in organisations is that their leaders don’t (seem to) do any development.  Sometimes that’s true.  And sometimes they are developing themselves in their role and not telling anyone.  If we want our people to learn and grow and develop, perhaps they need to know that it is also our practise to learn, grow and develop.  Even when that exposes some vulnerability for us.”

All of our coaches are working on their own practise.  And there are some new programmes coming up where you can develop yours.

  • Clare is starting a new online mentor coaching group on Fridays at 13.00-14.00 from 5th May
  • Claire is starting a new online practicum where people can practice, practice, practice what they are learning about coaching Fridays 14.00-16.00 from 19th May
  • Clare is sharing what we are learning about using coaching in transition online 11th May 09.30-10.45
© 2017 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com   Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email

3D Ideas 754: We’ve Always Done It This Way

Claire writes: “I was with a group of NHS Managers the other day and we were thinking about colleagues who have worked in the same way for many years and ‘have always done it this way’ and see no need to change.  It reminds me of the words of Marshall McLuhan (born over 100 years ago): “Our Age of Anxiety is, in great part, the result of trying to do today’s job with yesterday’s tools and yesterday’s concepts.”


Change is weird sometimes.  On courses we invite delegates to suspend disbelief and try a different way of working. Only when you have experienced it can you really decide whether it’s for you.  In that group of managers, we were wondering what will happen if you invite a colleague to work in a different way for a contained amount of time and then review to see whether it’s useful?”


© 2017 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Ideas 741: Triage

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Claire writes: “If you’re a leader or manager you’ll probably encounter colleagues who would clearly benefit from some conversations with someone… and you recognise that being diagnostic about what and how won’t be helpful. Neither will funding a course of sessions with someone of that’s not going to be the most useful thing to do.

Although coaching conversations can happen over time, we regularly have just one conversation with people.  Sometimes that is because we are simply using the conversation as triage.  It’s useful. It works and it is cost effective!

There are so many conversational interventions available – a friend, a coach, a mentor, a counsellor, a therapist and more.  One single confidential conversation can help someone identify for themselves what they need to work on and support them to think about the best way for that to happen. You may need someone external to do that, and you may equally have someone internally who can be equipped to do it.”

 

© 2016 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Ideas 738: Ten in the Bed

bed-1545988_1920Claire writes: “Do you wake up in the night sometimes thinking about and even talking to someone who has got under your skin? I do.  Of course they aren’t really there and they certainly don’t know that I wake up with them… and yet we can spend hours in imaginary dialogue.


They are not to blame.  I made that happen.  Noticing the number of conversations I have with people who also wake up in the night thinking about someone at work, this is quite common.

 

I was recently chatting with someone who was clearly set to take the colleague home in his head for another sleepless night. We talked about that being a choice, and he commented that he would love to leave the colleague at work if he could.  In the end, all he did was write their name on a piece of paper and hand it to me.  As I put it in my pocket, he sighed.  ‘That feels so different’, he said. He has chosen to leave hois thoughts at the office.  I didn’t even read it and just slipped the paper into a bin at the station.  He had a better conversation with the colleague the following day for not having stayed awake with them.”

 

© 2016 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com  Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email