Category: working with people

3D Ideas 897: Whose job?

Claire writes: “Under pressure, with the best of intentions, many leaders end up taking too much responsibility.  Emma is a Head Teacher and describes this better than I can:

“A year after participating in the inspirational Transforming Conversations training led by Claire, I can truly say the school I lead and manage has been transformed! A year ago there was an overwhelming dependency on me as headteacher to solve everyone’s problems and find solutions. Since applying the STOKeRS approach there is a greater sense of shared responsibility for identifying and overcoming barriers to school improvement. Today staff unwittingly find themselves using the approach to support one another other more effectively – and I no longer feel overwhelmed by shouldering the burden of others. I cannot recommend this training highly enough!”

This is a great example of how you can create a coaching culture by starting to have conversations differently.  When that works well, and it’s simple, others can easily engage differently themselves – as Emma says, unwittingly.  STOKeRS is simply a few questions to ask to ensure that we don’t start a conversation until we know what we are talking about today, how we will do that and how, today, we will know that we have done what we needed to do.”

If you want to learn more, join me for the next online training starting in September on Thursday afternoons.

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2020

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

3D Ideas 889: Small World

Claire writes: “I have just hosted a group from four nations.  We are all in lockdown. Isolation is simultaneously creating more distance and closer connections between some groups of people across the world.  

In conversation with a coaching friend yesterday, we observed that until a few weeks ago, we were living in a world that has become self-centred.  It has been all about what I want and what I can offer.  In the new world, we are forced to work in service of the greater good. Suddenly we are choosing to take actions in service of the world.  Our gift to others right now is to stay where we are.

 

This thing we do – offering a place to think that is supportive and challenging – is needed now more than ever. We are noticing that big things won’t change – like on-site training until a number of things are met:

  • people are in the new normal enough to have time to think new things
  • we have processed enough of the emotion from lockdown to be in the head space for different stuff
  • and we can be in the same physical space.

 

Meanwhile, we are delivering almost all our training online in different shapes and sizes.  The value of coaching to keep leaders company in their thinking is more important now than ever – so pick up the phone if you want to talk: 07823 497967”

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2020

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

3D Ideas 888: Juggling

Claire writes: “On one of my long lunchtime walks last week, Alan and I were on the phone talking about leadership.  We were thinking about how the lockdown is raising questions for leaders:

  • what do we drop?
  • what do we hold lightly?
  • and how do we open our hands to have the capacity to receive

Great Leaders don’t cling to stuff. They lay some things down gently. They throw some away, and they hold some things more lightly so they can pick up other things

The adeptness of the juggler is management. And an essential hidden skill of leadership.”

We are aware that you might be overwhelmed with work or family responsibilities and you may have too much space. If learning is part of your lockdown life, we have a variety of online opportunities for CPD that start after Easter and runs through the early part of the summer:

DIP – we continue to record our free Coaching Inn podcasts with interesting people. The ethics ones can be used for coaches looking for the 3 hours ethics training required by ICF. Or join Claire for a complimentary hour to Refresh what you are learning about coaching.

DIVE – the world is experiencing trauma at one level or another – join Claire and Liz Behnke for a half day training (29th April) for coaches wanting to be mental health aware.

Action Learning is a great way to develop people and we have been running training to facilitate this online for a number of years. Next online training starts 21st May.

DEEP DIVE – if you are looking for some high quality coach training or CPD, join Claire on Lockdown Tuesdays for 24 hours of live Masterclasses on each of the new ICF Core Competencies – with a Practicum each week. (50% discount on normal online cost – and you can pay in installments).

Mentor Coaching Group if you are renewing your  ACC starts 8 June, and Peronel is ready to start a new mentor coaching group for anyone going for ACC or PCC on Mondays 16.30-17.30 (UK)

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2020

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

 

3D Ideas 887: Love, Leadership and Trauma

Claire writes: “‘Too much, too fast, too soon’ is Peter Levine’s definition of trauma. The covid 19 lockdown across the world has been huge and come with almost no warning. Even for those with a safe home, the change in lifestyle has been traumatic – before we begin to look at the impact of loss and grief on workplaces, families and communities. The ways in which we have led need to adapt and change. Everyone is experiencing some level of trauma. 

A few weeks ago, I met Sarah Broscombe for the first time. We were chatting in Zoom about stuff and got onto the topic of power. There is a chapter in my book about power, presence and partnership.  The conversation was so interesting that we agreed to reconvene last Friday to record a podcast. Little did we know that the world was about to change. You can listen here – it’s about 20 minutes long.  

At the end of our conversation, Sarah talks about Martin Luther King as a great example of leading in a situation that feels almost impossible. He said that “Power properly understood is nothing but the ability to achieve purpose. It is the strength required to bring about social, political and economic change. … What is needed is a realisation that power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anaemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.”

 

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2020

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

 

Podcast – Using Coaching with Groups

Su talking with Claire about how you can apply what we know about 1-1 conversations with groups and PCC meetings.

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3D Ideas 869: Time Lag

Claire writes: “It maybe that I am a bit preoccupied with stuff at the moment, but I seem to have stumbled over a useful idea.

Several times recently family or colleagues have brought something big to a conversation when I wasn’t expecting it.  Every time I have acknowledged the thing and invited them to ask me again in a few days time. I haven’t consciously been thinking about the thing.  And I have noticed that when they have come back we have both moved on in our thinking which has led to some very productive conversations.

I wonder if this is another example of the best work happening in the space in between?”

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2019

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

3D Ideas 864: What can only I do?

Without doubt, the best way to escalate our learning as coaches is to watch coaching as much as it is to practice it. It is in the noticing chair where we notice all the things we miss when we are focusing on asking quality questions! If you’re trained as a coach with 3D or elsewhere, Join Claire P for a one-off two hour practicum 7th October.

Claire writes: “A warm welcome to Ness Callis who has joined us as admin assistant.  Ness has joined us to make sure that we have the capacity to continue to deliver high quality work.  It means that we are working out, in the office, who does what.

I was inspired by an article from the Alban Institute which asked the question of leaders ‘What can only I do?’ It’s a very useful question.  It informs our decisions from admin tasks through to deployment and delivery.  Sometimes the answer to the question is the right answer. Sometimes it means that we have to share knowledge more.  It is not OK that I am the only one who can descale the coffee machine!

We don’t always get it right. And it’s always useful to hold the question.”

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2019

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

3D Ideas 863: What’s it for?

Claire writes: “Our job is to have conversations where people want to move forward.  They come to these conversations for all kinds of reasons. Some don’t know why they have come.  When they do, it seems to be one of these. They come:

  • with a particular thing to explore – doing something differently, or being different
  • when they are stuck
  • as they are transitioning to a new job, or project
  • to think about endings or moving forward
  • or because they just need a place outside their context – family or organisation where, over time, they would like an external thinking partner or critical friend
  • for a reason they can’t articulate

What will be useful always starts with knowing what the conversation/s will be for. Only then can we take a stab at how long, how often or how many.  Because often one conversation can be enough. Which is why we do so much single session coaching.

This thinking emerged in conversation with Adrian Goodall PCC.  In coaching, we are about moving forward – although glancing back can be useful sometimes.  If the conversation that’s needed is to have a good look back, that requires a different conversation with a different kind of practitioner.”

Ⓒ 3D Coaching Ltd 2019

May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

 

3D Ideas 846: Mentoring


Claire writes: “A useful conversation with someone this morning led to them asking me to work with them in a hybrid set of roles.  Although the purist definition is that in coaching you never offer in any advice, we have been learning some interesting stuff in these hybrid conversations.

Aaron Albury says that coaching is holding up a mirror while mentoring is holding up a map. I’d say that mentoring is offering to hold up a map, if that’s useful!

In listening to lots of 1-1 conversations every week, I notice a couple things.

  1. Trying to avoid saying ‘have you thought about’ leads to complex questions which sort of have the answer in them and slow things down
  2. Saying ‘have you thought about?’ with more than a few words risks the thinker feeling flooded with solutions that they may well have thought about already

More and more I am saying ‘would it be useful for me to (briefly!) think out loud?’.  It works because I can scope a breadth of what I am thinking about without going into detail.  It feels less judging. And they can pick up on words or ideas that resonate. Or when I was demonstrating it in a group where someone ran coach training, I said ‘would it be useful for me to say what we do?’  He said yes, so I shared it in a sentence. There was silence. And it gave him a breakthrough – he said ‘Got it! I know what I’ll do. It’s [something totally different from what I said and it came from him usefully processing what he heard]’..

And when we are mentoring someone to support them to grow, it may be useful to give them the inside track on how we make decisions.”

© 2019 3D Coaching Ltd

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3D Ideas 825: More than diagnosing

Sam, our health coach, writes: “As health professionals our desire to ‘fix it’ can sometimes get in the way of our patients living a more meaningful life. Here’s an example – In her 20’s she noticed her eye sight getting worse. She was prescribed eye drops to stop the disease progressing but it wouldn’t reverse the damage already done. Her eye drops affected her throat and left her unable to sing. Singing was her first love. She decided to stop using her drops as being unable to sing was much worse for her than not being able to see. She now makes her living from her voice.

Looking at things from a different perspective, the patient’s perspective, will deliver a multitude of additional options that will have a significant impact on their health. An impact that may be different to what the doctor ordered!

That ‘fix it’ mentality plays out in all the organisations in which we find ourselves and is why a coaching approach can be so useful. It’s also why we teach leaders to notice and not diagnose or prescribe.”

Sam is hosting a free webinar for health workers who are Band 7 and above who are interested in finding out more about the work we are doing around health conversations. Join Sam and Claire in our Zoom Room on 17th January 16.30-17.00 (UK). Feel free to share this invitation with anyone you know.

© 2018 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email