Category: Silence

3D Juggling 619: Press Pause

Claire writes: “This is the first summer when I have not had school age children, and now have different choices and priorities for how I spend my time.  Choice is such a gift, I think.  We often have more choices than we think and  often simply choose not to choose. I know that running your own business afford more choices in some ways – as well as more risk!

So I take CCL’s cyclical approach to work and a stopping season demonstrates some of my own values around work life balance and allows time to regroup before a very busy autumn.  All of our team make choices depending on our own circumstances so there will be someone to talk with you on the phone and to respond to emails.

Juggling will resume in September!”

© 2013 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com
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3D Juggling 603: Busy busy

There are still spaces on the Masterclass on 25th Feb on helping people look at their situation from a different perspective; and on the next open Coaching for Excellence starting on 4th March.

Claire writes: “It’s Lent.  And there’s talk of who has given up what, and who isn’t interested.

The people at ‘I’m not busy’ are encouraging us to give up busyness for Lent.  It’s a bit like the art of slowlyness.

Even if that’s for 15 minutes out of your working day, it’s a great idea.”

© 2013 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com. Subscribe to 3D Juggling

3D Juggling 531: The importance of context

Claire writes: “After a recent coaching supervision where we had been exploring the power of saying very little, I said to the coach: ‘Less is More’.  She responded: ‘Even less is even more.’

I was so struck by the powerfulness of her comment that I put it on Twitter.  And received many strange responses including: I was puzzled because the logical extension was that nothing is everything. Either very profound or… 🙂

I still think ‘Even less is even more’ is profound in one to one conversations which are so often full of noise.  And it’s also a great lesson of the importance of context! Think about it…”

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Less is More

In ‘Techniques for Coaching and Mentoring ‘, Megginson and Clutterbuck suggest that “It takes approximately 4.5 seconds of silence on the car radio for the average person in western society to change channels.  Silence is a phenomenon we are ill equipped to handle; we attempt to fill it as quickly as possible.  Yet silence truly can be golden”

If you are a coach, and you know that you talk too much, contract with your client at the beginning of the conversation that you won’t break the silence – it’s up to your client to tell you when they are ready to speak again.

3D Juggling 511: Underemployment

Claire writes: I had one of our cups of coffee last week with someone who works for a public sector organisation which has already made its first round of redundancies.  Those people who are left are expected to deliver the same service with less resource.  Does that sound familiar?

It may well be that their work can be done differently and more effectively with less people.  But only if they have time to stop and think.  James Watson, an American scientist, said: “It is necessary to be somewhat underemployed if you want to do something significant”.  Creativity comes when our minds are not fully or over occupied.  What can you do to create just enough underemployent in your week? Think about it…

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

When we are working with executives and executive teams we often become aware of ‘tension’ between executive directors (EDs) and non executive directors (NEDS).  Typically EDs value the external experience, expertise and challenge that NEDs bring whilst experiencing frustration about how this is offered (‘they don’t understand our constraints…’), and NEDs value the experience, expertise and commitment of EDs whilst experiencing frustration at their assumptions about what’s possible (and often, in the public sector, an apparent lack of accountability).  We’re thinking about how NEDs establish authority and relate to EDs, and about how EDs can help them to challenge appropriately. We’d love to hear about your experiences.

Click here for a factsheet from the Institute of Directors about the role of a NED

3D Juggling 501: No words

On BBC 2s Big Silence last week, Christopher Jameson said “Life would be transformed for the better if we learned to embrace silence”. When that’s positive it’s transformational… but that’s not always the case:

Jane writes: “I am reading a book called ‘The Help’ by Kathryn Stockett where she talks about a series of events which initiated a feeling of great bitterness. The character describes how her face went hot and her tongue went twitchy. She didn’t know what to say, all she knew was that she wasn’t saying it. She knew that the other person involved wasn’t saying what she wanted to say either and noticed that there was a strange thing happening where nobody was saying anything yet they were still managing to have a conversation.

Sound familiar? Sometimes we don’t respond to what we see and feel because we don’t know how to in a way that keeps us safe. Sometimes we don’t respond because we don’t think it’s our place to do so.

What difference could it make in your organisation if you could help others to acknowledge and respond to what’s really going on, to what’s being understood through those silent conversations? Could you save the time that is currently being spent on trying to keep the lid on things, and then on dealing with the fallout with the lid flies off? Maybe less time spent dealing with grievances and investigations?

We try to keep our coaching interventions very simple. Simple does not mean easy. We aim to help other coaches achieve simplicity through our Coaching for Excellence development programme, where we strip away all the complexities that have become associated with effective coaching and focus on the core skill of truly listening, of responding to what they see and feel as well as what they hear.

Talk to us about how we can help you through supervision, or about our Coaching for Excellence programme.”

2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 475: The Art of Slowlyness 1

Claire writes: “I’ve been posting a few comments on Twitter about the art of slowlyness which have received some good feedback so I thought I would share them with you. Having spent six days at Spring Harvest where it was good to meet some of you, I have enjoyed sitting and mulling in the few days since I returned. Those trapped by volcanic ash seem to have taken two very different approaches to the chaos. Those with schedules and responsibilities have been desperately trying to find a way home. My parents did a 4 day rescue mission to the Spanish border to fetch my brother and his wife. Others who have less of a pressing agenda are sitting it out and enjoying a slower pace. I spoke to a colleague who thinks his Dad will be the last Brit home as he is enjoying the slow waiting pace so much!

Reflective thinkers seem to find it easy to make space in a busy schedule to think. Activists find it much more difficult because there is always something to be done. Different solutions fit different people, although I recognise in myself that my brand-new solution will only work for a season, although it will probably come back and be fit for purpose sometime in the future. I was reminded recently of an extrovert who wanted some thinking time. The thought of going on a quiet day or even a quiet hour was too much for him. Their solution was to take a few days out, and frequent the coffee shops of the nearby city. They were alone which gave them time to think, but in company and in the hustle and bustle of the city. It worked.

My thinking space is the Starbucks at our local motorway service station. I don’t meet anyone I know, I have my favourite seat and it gives me productive time to think. It doesn’t take long to download and get some clarity about what’s going on, what’s important, and what can be left.

Where do you practice the art of slowlyness?

We’d love to hear your ideas on this. Email info@3dcoaching.com to tell us how you practice the art of slowlyness.

Try it!

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who needs to slow down.

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

 

3D Juggling 471: Listen!

Claire writes: ‘Did you know that SILENT and LISTEN contain the same letters…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Try it!

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who likes to talk!

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 452: Grafham Water

Jane writes: ‘A couple weeks age I spent some time sitting on the grass at Grafham Water. It was a clear, bright, late summer afternoon and the air was eerily still. So still that even though I was only a few meters from a road there was no road noise, totally blocked by the trees. The water was as still and reflective as glass. Sitting there was amazing. The noises on the water were so resonant and rang out so clearly into the silence. The reflections into the water were almost a perfect replica of the original. Watching a swan glide by doubled with its reflection made me really look and analyse what I was seeing.

It made me think about some of the Action Learning Sets I had facilitated recently where the presenter has been able to really hear things with the same sort of clarity in their heads because of the silence held by the set. And how reflections when we have space and quiet to really make sense of them are so much more powerful.

As Eric Hoffer writer and philosopher says: ”It is not so much the example of others we imitate as the reflection of ourselves in their eyes and the echo of ourselves in their words.’

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who likes silence.

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 412: WAIT

Claire writes: “One of my supervisees arrived the other day with a piece of paper which he takes to training events. It says WAIT. Why Am I Talking? What a great tool to have in front of you in a group or a committee!

When she is having a conversation, Nancy Kline, asks people to indicate when they have done all their thinking lest she interrupt their silence before they are ready to move on.”

“Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence.” Jorge Luis Borges

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 361: Happy Christmas

Diane writes: “I am really enjoying receiving our Christmas cards and letters. One of them contained the news that a very dear friend who lives in Australia is going to come and see us next autumn. I hadn’t expected to see her again until my 60th birthday when we are going to drink a Gin Sling together in Raffle’s Hotel in Singapore. In another message newly married daughter is asking if I will share puddings with her at the Clutterbuck family lunch on Christmas Eve – she can’t decide between Chocolate Torte and a local cheese board so will I order one and we’ll share? Hang on; don’t I get to choose a pud at all? No because I’m mum and mums just share. That’s OK then.

Two snippets from today’s inbox which made me feel very good about myself and the world – and there is still a pile of cards to read later!

I am not going to give you any tips for surviving the next week because I don’t want you just to survive; I want you to flourish as you prepare to spend time with friends and family. You cannot get a litre into a pint pot, so don’t even try, just do what you can to make this Christmas time special for you and for those with whom you will share it. Whatever Christmas means for you we hope that it will be a time of peace and joy.”

(c) 2007 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com