Category: 3D Philosophy

3D Ideas 859: Which Way is Forward?

Claire writes: “It’s the little things that teach the most useful lessons.  We will do a video on this one – meanwhile, let me try and describe it in words.

If coaching is a process in which people move forward in their thinking, generally we need, in our minds, to be looking ahead together.  The risk in asking background questions is that they mentally turn around and start moving backwards.  

The past might be important – but think about encouraging them to glance over their shoulder rather than march back into the past.

And when they download past and present in bulk as you begin the conversation, try a future focussed question to interrupt.  “So today?” In two words, we have refocused forwards.

Often when conversations fail to move forward, it’s because we have spent most of the conversation looking the other way.

If you are a fan of the GROW coaching model, this is why it isn’t always useful to ask ‘what’s the reality?’ – except when it is.  You’ll only know that by asking – is this useful?”

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3D Ideas 856: Too many words

Claire writes: “Last week’s post was about how holding onto the ball in a conversation can interrupt someone’s thinking.  Using too many words has the same effect. I notice that the more words I use, the more I look like an expert – and the less work you do.

Less is more.  We often challenge delegates on courses to make every question 5 words or less! Try it!”

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3D Ideas 849: Simple (again)

Claire writes: “Alex sent me this great quote from Steve Jobs the other day: ‘Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.’”

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May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com If you would like to get this by email every week, you can do that here!

3D Ideas 831: Carol Services

Su writes: “It struck me at the Carol Service last night that the startling new insights that we can get from hearing the same readings every year is very much like our 3D method of learning the same material and always learning something new and profound each time.”

3D Ideas 813: Inverse Proportion

Claire writes: Brene Brown leads the way in using grounded research theory in academic learning. It’s great to see how systematic experiential insights can be given value. We learn so much by noticing patterns (and who knows – one day one of us might turn that into a piece of formalised research).

One of the things we notice is that the more words people use in questions, the shorter are the answers. And the more we say, the more likely the person we are talking to is to answer in detail – even if it’s not useful to them. It’s the law of inverse proportion. Less is more.

[Less is more is one of our underpinning philosophies of coaching]

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3D Ideas 806: Violins

Claire writes: “My overriding memory of my teenage homework years were crying at the dining room table with my books because our neighbour in the other half of our semi-detached house was practising the violin. I’d like to share joyful memories of recognisable tunes. Alas the boy who became a world famous violinist used to play the same two notes over and over again. Painful for my ears – and amazing for the audiences with whom he shared his musical talent.

Mastery – for musicians – is about drills and scales – breaking down their skill and getting brilliant one note at a time. Practice, and listening to what you’re doing is worth more than listening to CDs, orchestras and buying music books.

Most of us have conversations at work in one way or another. How many times have we heard – ‘your call is being recorded for training or monitoring purposes?’ That has a smack of big brother – but listening to how we do what we do every so often is an important part of getting better. This is especially true, I think, for coaching – practice makes perfect (well, great enough!).”

We have some mentor coaching groups starting up if you’re a coach and want to work on the way you have conversations in the room.

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3D Ideas 793: Reduction

Claire writes: “Every time we run a course we try and simplify what we offer so that we are all having conversations that allow someone else to think really well and don’t leave them with the feeling that the magic came from the person who was facilitating the conversation. So I was delighted to be told that Antoine de Saint-Expury shared this vision “It is as if there were a natural law which ordained that to achieve this end, to refine the curve of a piece of furniture, or a ship’s keel, or the fuselage of an airplane, until gradually it partakes of the elementary purity of the curve of a human breast or shoulder, there must be the experimentation of several generations of craftsmen. In anything at all, perfection is finally attained not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away, when a body has been stripped down to its nakedness.”

There is a lot to be said for simple!”

© 2018 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com  Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email