Happy New Year from everyone at 3D Coaching
Claire writes: “Supportiveness comes in all shapes and sizes: ‘What are you going to do about it, then?’ may not rank in your top ten for support. And ‘What do you want (would you like) me to do about it?’ whether said or implied can often be what we say when we end up taking responsibility for things that really belong to someone else.
In any conversation, there are three areas of responsibility – yours, mine and what we do together in this conversation (and possibly beyond, depending on our roles). A coaching approach encourages us to be clear about language:
What can WE do in this conversation so that YOU are clear enough about a way forward?
Careful use of we for what’s happening here and now in the process of this conversation, and you for action keeps responsibility where it needs to be. If you’re in a leader, manager or supervisor role and it’s not all down to your colleague taking action, you can always end with ‘Is there anything that I need to do as a result of this conversation?’
People who use this say they sleep better at night!
Principle 10: You action – we process”
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