3D Ideas 821: 80% Useless

Claire writes: “If only everything we said in conversations with others was useful! Except it isn’t. There is no such thing as a perfectly executed conversation.

One of the things that we observe is that at least 80% of what we notice in coaching conversations is without value. And about 20% is really useful. I have no idea which is which, so my role in a conversation is to lightly notice what I notice (with a question mark rather than a definite diagnostic tone), to not get precious when it misses and to notice when it lands deeply.

The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.
R. D. Laing

And never apologise when it misses – your apology makes what you are saying about you and may block the moment where someone was just about to have an insight. Just move on!”

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