We had a great day on Saturday with year 13s writing UCAS statements: “An excellent short course on the basics to understanding what needs to be in your personal statement, excellent for a starting point and for working out what unique things you offer.” There’ll be another one on 27th November.
Jane writes: “Are you sometimes surprised by what comes out of people? Maybe its anger that you didn’t expect in response to something you did or said. Maybe it’s what feels like inappropriate tears or laughter.
We are all unique individuals and it is sometimes worth reminding ourselves that those people who know us well are willing to forgive us things that others might not. This is because they know some of our story; they understand why certain things might trigger extreme responses. When we are working with people whose stories we don’t know, and this will often be at ‘work’, it can be easy to be confused or irritated by responses that we didn’t anticipate. Especially when these get in the way of us getting the job done.
I was reminded recently of a quote from Wayne Dyer. “When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out – because that’s what’s inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside.”
What comes out of you when you’re squeezed, maybe as a result of somebody else’s behaviour or an unexpected piece of news? Has it ever surprised you? Remember that others may also be surprised by what comes out of them when they’re under pressure. You won’t help them by judging them, or by focusing on how their response is making you feel. You might help them by acknowledging their response and allowing it. Their response is likely to be the only one that is possible at that moment. You don’t need to know why, but you do need to let them know that it’s okay to be feeling that way.
How confident you do you feel about helping them to be okay with how they’re feeling and how that is being expressed? How do you help them to focus on where they need to be next?
Talk to us about working with difference. We can support this through the development of coaching skills and action learning sets in your organisation, or maybe just through helping you learn how to have different types of conversations when faced with unexpected responses to what’s going on around you.”
© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to email@example.com