Tag: thinking

3D Ideas 733: Afterlife

Thank you and goodbye to Nick as he leaves 3D to pursue his independent work – we appreciate everything he brought to the team in the last two years.
display-dummy-915135_1920Claire writes: “The joy of demonstrating coaching is that when the work is done, the thinker stays in the room.  A couple of weeks ago, she kept drawing and thinking for over 30 minutes after the 15 minute conversation was done.

If the purpose of a really effective conversation is to support someone else to think, it’s useful to remember that it’s not about me and what I do and that much of the value will come once we have finished.  So it’s useful to encourage people not to book another conversation immediately after they’ve been thinking!”

© 2016 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Juggling 717: Stop!

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Claire writes: “A couple of weeks ago, we drove up to some roadworks and were met by a stop sign. The man holding it walked up to us and said ‘It’ll be 15-20 minutes and then you can go through’. We turned off the engine, got out of the van, walked around, took some photos of the scenery, he had his lunch… and eventually he turned his sign from STOP to GO SLOW and we drove onto the newly resurfaced road (in up country New Zealand).

Unexpected, and grateful we weren’t in a hurry to get anywhere, it was a great lesson in the value of stopping. Now we’re back to work – engaging with many leaders and managers who have no stopping room – and often no space between meetings to prepare, follow up or manage email – let alone reflect. Diaries that are full of meetings are over-full – which is why so many people end up taking work home or doing admin at night or weekends.

These workers recognised that they needed to do a good job back stage for the road to be useful. And they needed time. How can we support ourselves and people who work in our organisations to take time to do the back stage work that is needed for them to deliver on the front stage?

© 2016 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email

 

3D Juggling 687: We don’t need coaches

Claire writes: ‘The world and the workplace don’t need coaches. We simply need people who can think and think creatively. Some of us can get there more easily is we are in the company of another.

I always think that the most value in conversations I have with people is what happens in the hour (or week) after they have left… when the flow of their thinking starts making the most difference.

The real coaching happens after the session is over!’

© 2015 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Juggling 686: Impact and intention

Claire writes: “We judge ourselves on our intention. If my intention is good, what I say is good. Except that my colleague judges me on the impact of what I have said. If it lands badly, we may take some hours, days or years to get over that. That’s why real play is useful. This means saying what we are thinking we might say out loud and hearing it to get a sense of whether its impact is what we intended.

Invite your colleague to try it out at different temperatures – say it in a very safe way. Now try it in a really challenging way.

  • Only a few groundrules
  • This works better if you stand up
  • We aren’t acting – and you are not taking the role of the person they are thinking of – you are just a face to talk to
  • For safety, it can be useful to put your hand up and move away so they are talking to your hand
  • Ask then – how did that sound – anything you want to change?

It might only take two or three goes, and it can make a significant difference to the quality of their conversation when it happens”

© 2015 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Juggling 678: The Seventh Wave

Claire writes: “I love standing and staring at the sea. There is something mesmerising about watching the waves. They come up the beach to about the same point… until the seventh wave. The wave which soaks unsuspecting feet and comes higher up the beach! The body of water has moved. But its’ real position is not at the top of the beach… its’ new position is at the back

Like the sea, a coaching style conversation has ebb and flow. There are moments where the tide comes in and a new insight emerges surprisingly. The person’s true position – where they are now – is at the back of the wave.

The role of the coach or facilitator is to be there and touch the conversation just enough to keep it in flow. Not every question or observation is going to be transformational. They may simply be keeping the thinking moving. That’s why really short questions work well – they keep the flow without interrupting it. And the coach, or coaching style leader needs to keep out of the way enough that the seventh wave has time to move things forward. Dams and tributaries that we impose can slow the flow.

© 2015 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email

 

3D Juggling 648: Getting Practical

Claire writes: “Daughter #2 has passed her driving theory test.  The next step is to up the practice for the practical.  She won’t be turning her head to the back seat to check the Highway Code mid lesson, although she may refer to the theory from time to time.

McCall, Lombardo and Eichinger’s surveyed high-performing managers (The Career Architect Development Planner, 1996) revealing that:

“Lessons learned by successful and effective managers are roughly:

  • 70% from tough jobs
  • 20% from people (mostly the boss)
  • 10% from courses and reading”

Which affirms the value of mentoring and taking time to reflect on practical learning.”

© 2014 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Juggling 630: Plenty of time

Claire writes: “At Coaching for Excellence tomorrow we will be talking about how to coach in 5 minutes.  Of course it’s very different from a full blown sit down conversation.  And people find that it is far more productive than they imagined. Five full minutes to stand up and think about something with a thinking partner is a gift. So is the shift of a conversation from:
‘I know you’re really busy, but I’d like to talk to you’ when we reply ‘I’ve only got five minutes so let’s book an hour conversation at another time.’

to ‘I have a good five minutes now – if that’s useful, what would you like to talk about?’

When we know the other person is here to help us think, and we know they won’t suddenly walk off or take a phone call, five minutes might be enough.”

© 2013 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Juggling 612: Not Knowing

Claire writes: ” “The more serious mistakes are not being made as a result of wrong answers. The truly dangerous thing is asking the wrong question.” said Peter Drucker. That’s food for thought in a world where the greatest challenge of our time is about holding uncertainty.  What is the question when you have to make 4% cuts? Or redundancies? Or serve the needs of paymaster and service user? Shareholders and staff? or donors and partners?

Asking questions takes time, and can bring a vulnerability because realise that we are showing we are not in control.  Yet true wisdom can hold the not knowing – and often the way forward emerges from the waiting. Can’t resist a quote from TS Eliot’s East Coker –

 

“I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought”

Holding uncertainty is also about holding your nerve in that in between waiting time, I think.”

© 2013 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Juggling 597: Coffee – real or instant?

Happy New Year! We hope that you had a good break. We are delighted to announce our new line up for 2013. Alan Gyle and Nicola McGinty will be joining the 3D team.  Both have extensive experience working with groups and team and individuals.  This is also a chance to say thank you to Nadia Evans who is now living in Dubai, and Liz Ford who will be leaving before Easter.  It’s been great to have them both as part of our journey.

Claire writes: “I have switched off so completely over the Christmas break that it’s taking focus to reengage – and I thought I had nothing to say. But inspiration came over the expresso maker! As a coffee snob, I like the real stuff and love the way you pack the expresso maker and then leave it to do its work.

Sometimes in conversations, I notice, we hope for great results while we are in dialogue with the other person.  On occasions real results come much later – perhaps days or even months – and are of a greater depth and quality than those that come in the moment.  Here’s an email we received just before Christmas from someone we worked with a couple of years ago: “…one of the things it made me really understand is just how long learning can go on for – even after the actual ‘learning’experience. A lot of the things we talked about when we were working together made a certain kind of sense at the time, but they’ve come to make even more sense in the [time since]… I’ve been able to make a different kind of sense of them”

Real coffee takes time to brew.  Not all learning is instant!  Think about it…”

© 2013 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Juggling 590: Confusion

Claire writes: “Clarity might be important when we communicate with other people – but when we are trying to work something out, too much clarity too soon might mean we have missed something.  A client once told me that ‘Confusion is the prelude to understanding’.  It really can be a gift – if we can hold our nerve!

Think about it…”

© 2012 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com