Tag: simplicity

3D Ideas 743: Move Again

face-636092_1280Claire writes: “We train people to use the simplest learning from coaching to transform the conversations they have at work.  And we are always learning simpler things ourselves! Last week it was how you can apply the simple idea of movement in selection. This is the email I received:

 

Interviewing today, all day. 
Down to two candidates. It’s 5.00pm
Panel of seven, back and forth we go 
Stuck we are, round and round the table we go, an hour is almost past and still we cannot break the stalemate. 
And then I remember my training!
Quoting your name as one does a patron saint I boldly declare “You have three seconds decide, in the left corner of the room it’s Jane in the right its Tim…3,2,1 move”
Three of us for Jane one for Tim and 3 undecided. 
Resolution in 2 minutes as they decide where and with whom to stand

 

Another great example of how getting out of our heads and moving can help us think more clearly.”
© 2016 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Ideas 740: A Question

eye-1245662_1280Claire writes: “A delegate on a course pointed out that long questions often evoke short answers.  Short questions often evoke long answers.  When the purpose of a conversation is to facilitate someone else’s thinking, short questions are always more effective

A question doesn’t have to be a question to be a question.  A glance, a word, a gesture can all be great questions. They also stop the delay between a question emerging and us turning it into something grammatical and structured – which often loses its impact.”

 

© 2016 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com  Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email

3D Ideas 734: Masterchef

salt-pepper-714903_1280Claire writes: ‘My keynote talk at the South West Councils Coaching Conference this month was all about the similarity between coaching and Masterchef. So as they go into the final week, what makes a winner?
  • They use far less ingredients in their winning meal than they did in the first round – just because we know a lot doesn’t mean it’s useful all at once
  • It’s all about seasoning –  just enough and not too much
  • They taste all the way through  we can keep checking in – is this useful?
  • They cook for the judges not for themselves – coaching is for you – not for me
I laughed when one of the judges said less is more because in conversations that’s absolutely true. And even less is even more.’
© 2016 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Ideas 728: Dare To Be Unimpressive

medal-646943_1280Claire writes: “This afternoon I was asked what becoming an MCC Master Coach has meant to me.  A great question because I first saw it as a badge of honour that showed the world what a great coach I am.

That’s changed in the great company of the people who give us the honour of learning together how to have better conversations. Every single time we run our training events, we learn something new and simpler from watching them!  Watching people lay aside their hard wired way of being complicated and a bit too responsible, saying less and listening more means that transformational conversations often happen within the first few hours of learning this way of working. Those delegates have to dare to be unimpressive.  On the first couple of days they always express a certain level of surprise when it works.

 

Now, for me, being a Master Coach probably gives some clout to my observations that coaching is fundamentally deeply simple and enormously effective.  But you don’t need to be a Master Coach to be a master coach.”

 

© 2016 3D Coaching Ltd
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3D Ideas 723: Forget It

idea-1296140_1280

Claire writes: “Questions. When we develop people to ask great questions, they often write down all the ones we are asking. Yet the greatest questions are not the ones in the book, nor the one you have heard us ask – they are the unimpressive, ungrammatical, incomplete words or phrases or gestures that responds to what you see or hear or sense.

As we facilitate someone else’s thinking, they won’t remember most of the questions that move them on – too much thinking to be done! Occasionally they will remember a deep one to take away because it needs more attention. So the shorter our questions, the quicker they are dropped and forgotten if they’re not useful.”

© 2016 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email

 

3D Juggling 716: It’s Complicated

Its easy to be complicatedClaire writes: “As a delegate on a course said so succinctly the other day:

‘It’s easy to be complicated. Simple is difficult’

If we have any confidence in a question we ask, we can leave it to do what it needs to. If we are so lacking in confidence that we follow up with more and more words, it may be better to say nothing. Where trust is high, saying nothing has surprisingly powerful results!”

© 2016 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email

 

3D Juggling 712: Short and Sweet

question-mark-358177_1280Claire writes: “We use an exercise in our training where people can only ask a question with 10 words or less. Recently for fun, I divided the group into three – one group could use 10 words, one group 3 words and one group 1 word.

The 10 words group could see how fast the person thinking in the 1 word group were moving and changed their rules. Short questions work. They keep people in flow. Questions like:

  • So?
  • And?
  • Go on… (particularly useful when the person has asked themselves a question – much better than reframing it!)
  • Say it?
  • And now?

In Making Questions Work, Dorothy Strachan talks about the phases of a good conversation from What? So what? to Now what?

Try it!”

© 2016 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email

 

3D Juggling 703: So Complicated

the lightest touch has the greatest impactClaire writes: ‘Watching my husband and a 4 year old friend navigate my iPad is an astonishing lesson. She makes everything work seamlessly. He can’t work out how to use it.

When we have learned that things are complicated, it’s tricky to do something simply. That’s why there’s so much unlearning to have simpler and more effective conversations. But it’s worth it. The value of coaching is in saying little enough to keep another’s thinking in flow. That’s all.”

© 2015 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email

 

3D Juggling 685: Adding Value

Claire writes: “This morning I had a conversation where I was almost silent while the person who was thinking travelled a great distance in their understanding of their situation. At the end of the call he said: “We don’t know how much value we add without adding any value at all. Thank you for letting me add value for myself”

Another lesson in staying silent and only asking questions when it’s useful!”

© 2015 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com Register here to receive our blog posts every Monday by email

 

3D Juggling 656: Coaching is simple – simple isn’t easy

Claire writes: ‘Nicky and I had a great day over the summer cutting back the materials we use on our courses to make them even more simple.  We are now teaching about 20% of what we taught ten years ago.  And people are getting more skilled more quickly.

We think there are just 15 principles to making a conversation (coaching or not) effective.  So we’ll have a look at them over the next few weeks.  None of them are rocket science as you will see!

3D’s Coaching Principles

1.    Contract for time as well as subject
2.    Talk to the person not the problem – right here right now
3.    Change hats with consent
4.    Be silent and ask questions where necessary
5.    Stand in a different place
6.    Name it – Say what you see without judgement
7.    Do it now: Real play
8.    When it’s over, it’s over
9.    Show the working out
10.    You action – we process
11.    Match for rapport – mismatch for change
12.    Name it
13.    Keep the responsibility in the middle
14.    Keep out of the way
15.    Ask them

That’s it!’

© 2014 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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