meetings

3D Juggling 606: We’re both right

March 15, 2013 By Claire Leave a Comment

Claire writes: “Clare wrote about receiving feedback the other day, which got me thinking. Sometimes we receive feedback supportively and choose to see it as a learning experience. And sometimes it seems to push our buttons and we struggle to make sense of it – and probably take time and energy defending it. It may be inappropriate, but often it’s just hard to receive and we want to be right. To do that we feel that we need to make the other person wrong.

The concept of both being right is useful here. You’re right that you have one perception. And your colleague is right that they have a very different perception. So the most important question is that if I am right and you are right, how do we take this forward? It’s also great where there is conflict in meetings.”

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Filed Under: 8 Creating Awareness Tagged With: behavioural change, coaching skills, meetings, working with people

3D Juggling 595: Takeaways

December 7, 2012 By Claire Leave a Comment

Claire writes: “Wrapping up a meeting to check on who will be doing what is vital. Who wraps up after a one to one? Managers often summarise for their colleague. Coaches often say the equivalent of ‘What did I do today that worked or didn’t work for you?’.

David Clutterbuck wraps up sessions with his 4Is

Issues discussed
Ideas created
Insights had
Intentions made

Might that be a useful takeaway in one to ones or meetings where you are? Think about it…?”

Filed Under: 10 Planning and Goal Setting, 11 Managing Progress and Accountability Tagged With: coaching skills, meetings

3D Juggling 589: Pear Shaped Meetings

October 19, 2012 By Claire Leave a Comment

If this is Juggling number 589, we have been writing it for over 11 years, which is about the length of time it has taken for Claire to acquire the necessary hours and expertise to finally be awarded the Master Certified Coach credential from the International Coach Federation. There are only 20 MCCs in the UK and she was not able to carry into the process the ten years of 1-1s she did when neither she nor her clients knew she was coaching. She has also gained formal accreditation as a Coaching Supervisor in the last few weeks. Congratulations!

Claire writes: “Every day someone tells us about a meeting which hasn’t been as productive as it could be, or which has just been a way to fill time. We notice that when meetings go pear shaped, people often don’t feel confident to raise that because they don’t know what to do next. What a huge responsibility!

Actually, if the meeting is to be in service of the organisation and respectful of its’ members time, surely that responsibility can be shared? What will you do now if you really understand that your role is to notice and say what you see… and that the responsibility for what to do next lies with the group?

Get it and don’t know what to say? Try this – I notice that we have gone off track here/ I am wondering what we are really thinking/ etc. What needs to happen now?

Think about it…”

Filed Under: 7 Direct Communication, leadership Tagged With: coaching skills, meetings, responsibility

3D Juggling 575: Being Right

July 6, 2012 By Claire Leave a Comment

Claire writes: How much tension do we experience when people need to make someone else wrong in order for them to be right? And how much time do we waste?

Next time you are in a meeting or in conversation with colleagues and there are strong opinions on both sides , try explicitly telling them they are both right and then share responsibility together to decide what to do next. You will stop wasting time and energy on making something wrong. And start focussing on a way forward.

You’re right that from your perspective our customer service is excellent and you are right that from your perspective it needs attention. So how can we understand those insights enough to help us find a way forward?

“Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right” Laurens Van der Post

If it would be useful to talk this through, call us to talk more. And if you have a 3D Juggling idea, we’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: working with people Tagged With: behavioural change, conflict, meetings

3D Juggling 572: Finding Time

May 18, 2012 By Claire Leave a Comment

Jane writes: ‘How often do you say, or hear others say, that there just isn’t enough time to do everything that needs to be done? Recent research suggests that time wasted at meetings could equate to 13 million hours a week. Just think about how that time could be used more effectively? Maybe more effective meetings, and less of them, would help.

We encourage clients to think about these questions:

What is the meeting for? What are the required outcomes? Does everyone know this?
Who really needs to be there? Why?
What needs to be clear as the meeting starts?
How is unhelpful behaviour managed?
What is important as a meeting closes?

And there are more. We run effective meetings (and train others to run them) using the CLEAR model. Ask us how we do it.’

Recent research from Epson and the Centre for Economics and Business Research (CEBR) found that one in five senior managers and directors spend over 10 hours a week in meetings. Our experience is that this is an underestimate. We agree with Daniel Solomon of CBR who says “It is vital that UK businesses address their policies on meetings and consider ways that these could be more effective”.

Filed Under: working with people Tagged With: meetings, time management

3D Juggling 549: Hot Seat

November 14, 2011 By Claire Leave a Comment

Claire writes: ‘I was running a ‘Brilliant Chairing’ course last week and was talking about why chairing a meeting can feel like being in the hot seat. How much do we make it hot? And how much do others make it feel hot for us?

Whose responsibility is it to make sure a meeting is effective? The chair has an important role in that, and the responsibility is held by everyone. Isn’t it? Think about it…’

Filed Under: working with people Tagged With: meetings, responsibility

3D Juggling 545: The Banks of the Yangtze

October 17, 2011 By Claire Leave a Comment

Claire writes: “I would be a millionaire if I was paid £1 for every time I have used this Chinese proverb in training. I learned it as a child:

The Banks of the Yangtze give it depth, drive and direction

Unless we make a clear agreement about the boundaries of a conversation, it may lack depth, drive and direction
Unless we are clear what a meeting is for, it may lack depth, drive and direction
Maybe we can do anything, but unless we have depth, drive and direction, we may not get there!

Think about it…”

Filed Under: 2 Establishing The Coaching Agreement, Career Change 3: Know your purpose, working with people Tagged With: career change, coaching skills, meetings

3D Juggling 476: That House

April 30, 2010 By Claire Leave a Comment

Su writes: “There’s a regular journey I take with my children. Have done it many, many times. It’s a journey that is all about getting to the destination – we’re not in it to look at the scenery. So many times, I’m on automatic and we travel along discussing school, favourite colours and what would happen if you really did have eyes in the back of your head.

Once recently, in the middle of this train of scintillating conversation, we were interrupted by one of the children: “I know we’re going the right way”, she said, “because we always pass that house”.

“That house” was very inconsequential: a bland, beige, functional box of a house which did not demand or desire any attention. I can honestly say I have never properly looked at that house before, although I have gone past it so many times over so many years. And every journey since then, I have noticed the house. I now know the colour of the curtains, I notice when the hedge has been cut and I wonder about the inhabitants. Something which was very part of the background has been pulled into the foreground, by a chance comment that was made.

In our standard work activities, we often have to go through the process: enter into the same room with the same people for the same regular meeting. As we’re on autopilot, we are not aware of how we’re going about doing this: it could well be that we’re continuously making the same mistakes or not identifying the things we’re good at. At the next meeting you’re at, why don’t you bring some of this into the foreground? Make your team aware of what’s happening at the side of the conversation, on the parameters of the journey. Without judgement or agenda: “Lisa is being talked over”; “we avoid discussing the figures”; “our action planning makes all the difference”.

It’s important that our meetings are focussed on achieving their outcomes efficiently. By noticing what is happening along the way, we give ourselves the opportunity to understand, reflect on and even enjoy the process of getting there.

Have a look around for “that house”"

Discuss this week’s juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

Filed Under: 8 Creating Awareness Tagged With: coaching skills, meetings

3D Juggling 418: Kick the Cat

February 23, 2009 By Claire Leave a Comment

Claire writes: ‘How many times have you come out of a meeting and wanted to kick the cat? Or gone to the water cooler with a friend and said “$£&%£$*&*%%&£$% That ALWAYS happens…” Even organisations and groups that are involved in learning rarely reflect on how they work together because we are so caught up in what we are working on. And when reflection does happen, it’s because there has been a problem and something needs to be done.

What will be possible if, at the end of every meeting – even board meetings – the members take 5-10 minutes to notice what went well about how we worked together? And is there anything we need to do differently? Even better – imagine what it will then be like when people leave a meeting with a new insight which they haven’t had before?’

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who gets frustrated by meetings!

Filed Under: working with people Tagged With: meetings

3D Juggling 412: WAIT

January 9, 2009 By Claire Leave a Comment

Claire writes: “One of my supervisees arrived the other day with a piece of paper which he takes to training events. It says WAIT. Why Am I Talking? What a great tool to have in front of you in a group or a committee!

When she is having a conversation, Nancy Kline, asks people to indicate when they have done all their thinking lest she interrupt their silence before they are ready to move on.”

“Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence.” Jorge Luis Borges

Filed Under: 6 Powerful Questionning, 7 Direct Communication, Silence Tagged With: coaching skills, meetings, silence