Jane writes: “Our credibility depends on several things and one of them is others experience of any gap between our intent and our behaviour. Our intent is our motive or agenda, our behaviour is what we say and do. The smaller the gap, the greater our credibility.
Behaving in ways that achieve compliance with what’s expected (explicitly or implicitly) in our family, community or organisation may enable us to ‘fit’ or to retain our role/job in the short term, but when compliance is at odds with our real beliefs and motives about how we should be behaving it will show. It will seep out in what we say and do. It may also help to prevent the truth about what is going on from being exposed, creating risk for individuals and organisations. Far healthier to achieve congruence – where we are honest about our motives. Other people appreciate that, even when our motives may be at odds with theirs. Our challenge is to work with them to find where our motives and beliefs overlap so that we can acknowledge these.
Sometimes it feels as we have to make a choice – compliance or no friends, compliance or no job.
How do you find the alternatives?
Think about a situation which you find difficult. How clear are your motives – to you and to others?
Coaching can help you to understand your motives and work out how to be honest about them in ways that build your credibility and help you to discover new options. And that will help you build you confidence as well. Think about it…“
© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
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