3D Juggling 538: Congruence – not compliance

September 18, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Jane writes: “Our credibility depends on several things and one of them is others experience of any gap between our intent and our behaviour.  Our intent is our motive or agenda, our behaviour is what we say and do.  The smaller the gap, the greater our credibility.

Behaving in ways that achieve compliance with what’s expected (explicitly or implicitly) in our family, community or organisation may enable us to ‘fit’ or to retain our role/job in the short term, but when compliance is at odds with our real beliefs and motives about how we should be behaving it will show.  It will seep out in what we say and do.  It may also help to prevent the truth about what is going on from being exposed, creating risk for individuals and organisations. Far healthier to achieve congruence – where we are honest about our motives.  Other people appreciate that, even when our motives may be at odds with theirs.  Our challenge is to work with them to find where our motives and beliefs overlap so that we can acknowledge these.
Sometimes it feels as we have to make a choice – compliance or no friends, compliance or no job.

How do you find the alternatives?

Think about a situation which you find difficult.  How clear are your motives – to you and to others?

Coaching can help you to understand your motives and work out how to be honest about them in ways that build your credibility and help you to discover new options.  And that will help you build you confidence as well. Think about it…“

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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3D Juggling 495: Big Conversations

September 20, 2010 By Leave a Comment

Jane writes: “Do you remember when Tony Blair launched a ‘Big Conversation’ consultation exercise. Back in November  2003?  Blair said that “We must engage people about the choices needed”.  At the time critics of the idea dismissed it as a New Labour “gimmick”.  The Conservative head of policy co-ordination said “I hope he really does listen. The trouble is all the evidence is he won’t”.

The idea of the big conversation hasn’t gone away – in fact it’s grown.   At its international conference later this year the International Coach Federation is introducing five Global Conversations to be held concurrently over a two-and-a-half-hour period, taking the place of a traditional keynote address.  These will be pretty big conversations!

So who does your organisation need to be having big conversations with? Whose voice do you need to hear in order to truly understand how to adapt and change in order to remain competitive and effective? Is it your customers, your suppliers, your competitors, funders? Or is it policymakers, politicians, local communities?

Big conversations need a purpose. They also need an appropriate environment and the right people need to be engaged. Here are some of the principles that you need to consider:

•    Create a hospitable place
•    Set the context
•    Explore questions that matter
•    Encourage everyone’s participation
•    Cross pollinate and connect diverse perspectives
•    Listen together for patterns, insights and deeper questions
•    Harvest and share collective discoveries

Imagine what you could do if you could see and understand all the connections, dependencies, synergies and opportunities which at the moment are hidden from you, or remain undiscovered. People like to be listened to, and heard, and understood, and they like to know that they have had some influence about things that are important to them. Why not take advantage of that?”

If you would like us to help you explore how to have big conversations, come out for a cup of coffee with us to talk about how we can help you.  We’ll pay!

© 2010 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

 

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3D Juggling 381: Role Models

May 23, 2008 By Leave a Comment

“There’s a role model in all of us. Find your good bits and show them and the world will be a better place,” said Maggie Aderin Pocock from Astrium at a recent talk to students. She’s a great role model… she added: “How did a dyslexic like me come to have a PhD and be a rocket scientist?”

Everyone has something to share. Sometimes it’s only revealed at a leaving do or a memorial service.

What are your good bits? And have you told your role models that they are?”

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to your role model.

(c) 2008 3D Coaching Ltd

 

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