Tag: DiSC

3D Juggling 561: Through The Looking Glass

Claire writes:  “‘I didn’t mean it’.  How often have you heard that – at home or at work?  We judge ourselves on our intent. Yet we measure others by the impact which their communication has on us.

And that’s where most communication problems arise – where the impact is different from the intention. Especially when we are communicating with people whose style is very different from our own.

Think about it…”

And if you want to understand it even more, talk to us about how DiSC can help you be more confident that your impact is what you intended.
© 2012 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 548: Speaking in a different language

Jane writes:  I got a new mobile phone this week and bravely faced the challenge of syncing my email account. There was a lot of growling as I attempted to follow the instructions, and then I went to the O2 shop for help.  After accurately assessing my abilities someone there sorted it all out for me.

Do you get frustrated when you don’t understand what someone’s trying to tell you – even though they’re speaking the same language as you?  I often ask them to explain their point again – and then still don’t get it. How can this happen?
For me it may be that they are giving me the detail when I need the heart of the message (the ‘so what?’).  For others it may be that they are being given the heart of the message without any evidence to support it (‘convince me’).   It’s all about difference.  We have different preferences about how we receive information, different ways of processing it, and different styles when we give it.  Understanding these differences can help us to adapt when this will help achieve a better result for us and for others.  Adapting appropriately can save a lot of time trying to resolve ‘misunderstandings’.  Learning how to ask others to adapt some of the time to help you understand them better is also useful.

Think about it…”

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 546: Ker-plunk!

Claire writes: Our kids used to love Kerplunk – where you pull out sticks and hope to keep the marbles in the container.  Pull out the wrong one and they all fall.  Sometimes learning can feel like Kerplunk.  We wonder why some things are difficult and tinker round the edges tweaking here and there.  And then one day a small tweak produces a huge amount of understanding that can sometimes be overwhelming.

I’ve just spent 3 days coaching leaders as part of a course to review and renew their work and their vocation.  We were using the DiSC communications profiles to help us.  Several people’s had two strongest preferences which could, at worst, be in conflict with each other.  And at best be very creative.

As I was leaving, one person came to feedback how these new understandings made sense of his whole experience through his working life. He was feeling slightly overwhelmed by the task now ahead and asked what help he might need to process these.  Over 100 years ago, Maurice Maeterlinck said:  “It is far more important that one’s life should be perceived than that it should be transformed, for no sooner has it been perceived than it transforms itself of its own accord”.

Coaching may be helpful, but it will not be the first option.  The first option is to see what happens.  Think about it…”

© 2011 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 460: Personality clash?

Jane writes: “Have you ever heard someone say when describing a problem between two people, ‘It’s a personality clash’? And have you noticed how this is left hanging in the air as if to say ‘That’s it, I’ve tried everything and there’s nothing that can be done to help’? Except of course that managers and organisations do try to ‘help’ – often when faced with claims of bullying or harassment or long term stress related absence. And that help often leads to more stress for the individuals concerned and their colleagues, and sometimes to formal grievances, disciplinary cases, and maybe people being moved or even leaving an organisation (along with all their knowledge and skills). And all of this takes up a lot of time, and time costs money.

So how can we help safely and sooner to minimise the impact of ‘personality clashes’ on individuals and teams?

We use DiSC profiling as a tool to help people better understand their communication preferences, the impact these can have, related benefits and challenges, and how they can adapt when working with others to minimise conflict and maximise their effectiveness. DiSC provides simple, safe language that can be used to talk about difference and help people to state their needs with respect for those of others. We have found that this really helps people who couldn’t talk to each other to have productive conversations, which in turn lead to productive working relationships. How much could this save your organisation? Who do you know who might benefit from using DiSC?

Want to know more? Talk to us

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who has a personality clash in their team.

Discuss this week’s juggling at http://www.3dcoaching.blogspot.com/

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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Coming Soon:
21st January Action Learning Set Facilitator Training – London
http://www.3dcoaching.com/3d_training/train_to_facilitate_action_learning_sets.phtml

3D Juggling 456: Fairy tales?

Jane writes: “Once upon a time there was a tyrannical boss who made all they came into contact with shiver and shake with fear and frustration. They ruled their empire harshly, banishing anyone who challenged their authority….

Once upon a time there was a confused team. Generally it was happy and effective, but every now and then things went wrong. This tended to happen whenever the team agreed to do something new. An experienced member of the team, who was very knowledgeable and did many things well, would complain about it and undermine the good intentions of her colleagues. The other team members didn’t know how to stop her and were waiting for a knight in shining armour to come along and put things right for them….

A recent article in People Management magazine discussed the benefits of using fairy story metaphors to describe unacceptable behaviour – powerful but maybe not comfortable for everyone.

We find that the DiSC profiling tool offers safe language that can be used to discuss difficult people issues, and to develop helpful responses. DiSC provides 15 classic profile patterns, one of which will fit an individual better than others, while recognising that they are unique. Learning how my profile is different, or similar, to yours can help me to understand why we impact on each other in the way we do – and how we could choose to adapt our behaviour when this would help to make our interactions more successful. Successful could mean less stressful, quieter, that long standing issues are addressed, or just that we enjoy them more.

Do you have a fairy tale that needs happy ending? Ask us how DiSC could help you to write it.

(See p.42 of People Management, the magazine of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development, 19 November 2009)

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

 

3D Juggling 453: Team not talking to you?

Jane writes: ‘When running a series of Communication workshops Lynn and I came across a manager who was frustrated by the fact that, however hard she tried, she could not get her team members to speak up at team meetings. She was convinced that they had useful things to say – things they were saying at other times to other people – things that could help the team to develop and become more effective. What was the problem?

By exploring with this manager how she preferred to communicate (and be communicated with) she was able to acknowledge that her approach at team meetings was linked to her preferences – direct, in the moment and expectant of an immediate response. She also recognised that the preferences of some of her ‘reluctant’ team members were different – they needed time to think about and prepare a response, to be sure of facts before speaking, and acknowledgement of the impact that any changes would have on how people worked together.

With this in mind the manager adapted her approach to her team meetings by sharing an agenda before each meeting so that team members could prepare their thoughts. When she needed to reduce break times and ensure that mobile phones were not used in the workplace she acknowledged that her team members would have concerns about keeping in contact with family and friends, and about their rights. This enabled her to communicate with them in way that enabled the changes to work with agreement. The longer term result – many more contributions, great ideas and a more effective team!

We used DiSC profiling to help explore communication preferences with this manager. Contact us to find out more about DiSC and how it can support team building, conflict resolution, recruitment, and appraisals. DiSC was also featured in the Health Service Journal 26 October 2009.’

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone whose team is not talking to them

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 435: New Bathroom

Claire writes: ‘I simply noticed that the lino in the shower room had come unstuck. When we lifted it, the floor was soaking wet and black and mouldy. After 3 weeks, we isolated the source of the leak – a drip from the cistern. The loss adjuster says it will cost £2000 to make good the damage and the shower will have to be taken out to replace the floor and a wall. All because we have a boxed in cistern and never saw the drip. I had noticed some discolouring on the lino and put it down to excess trampling on with muddy shoes! Had the cistern been visible, the same problem would have been noticed in days and resolved for a few pounds. It has probably been dripping for several years.

How much time do you spend dealing with damage in your organisation? We have all met people who fly off the handle at the slightest thing, and then leave others dealing with the consequences. That’s damaging. And you can see it. What can be just as damaging is the drip of dissatisfaction and complaints and unhappiness that is under the surface. It may be whispered. It may be unsaid. Unless there is a safe place to communicate well, it can be as damaging as the drip in our bathroom. It wasn’t the drip that caused the damage. It was the way the architect had designed the room.

What’s causing your damage?

If you want to know more about water, fire and wind damage in teams, read ‘The Four Elements of Success’ by Laurie Beth Jones or talk to us about DiSC

Love this? Do us a favour and send it to five people. Who thinks like you? You could send it to someone who works in damage limitation with staff!

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com