Trudy is second in department for team providing administrative and reception services in an organisation that works directly with the public. Her role requires her to deal with the public with other staff and to deliver the requirements of her team. When Trudy came to coaching she had been in the role for 18 months and wanted coaching to help her change job due to bullying from her line-manager. She felt she needed to leave before her self-esteem became so low that she wouldn’t be able to get another job. She was in a no-man’s land. Much about her job she loved but her manager was critical and undermined her in tasks and in front of others.
As she was coached it became clear to Trudy that her manager had needs and was under pressure and that there were things she could potentially do as offers of help. She noticed that she was not clear what she wanted from her boss and if she didn’t know in all likelihood nor would her boss. Trudy became aware that she needed to understand the purpose of tasks and have clarity about expected outcomes and time scales for her to feel confident and competent to deliver them. This was not something that her boss usually offered so she decided to ask. Trudy used the coaching to “real-play” conversations she needed/wanted to have with her boss so that she could check that she was saying what she wanted them to hear and could get some feedback on possible impact. She learnt how to say “no” but in a way that could be heard and was collaborative.
She also spent time thinking about what she knew about how her manager seemed to better hear information, how much detail she liked, whether she needed the whole story or the bottom-line information and she practised how to give her messages in this way.
Trudy has made a very significant impact on the relationship with her boss. Her change in style and clarity has increased mutual understanding and Trudy’s confidence in her own abilities have blossomed. 2 years on she has remained in the job and her manager has put her forward for promotion.
The perceived bully learning to change
Nigel has recently been promoted as a manger in a care home. This promotion has coincided with huge personal upheaval at home. Nigel has continued working and his commitment to his job and patients is recognised but his manner at times to other staff has been felt as bullying and aggressive. Whilst his colleagues have tried to be understanding at this difficult time for him, his current behaviour feels a notch up from previous responses rather than something new and they have now raised it as an issue with his line-manager.
Nigel’s line manger offered him coaching as an alternative to formal procedures but acknowledging that there needed to be significant change for that not to remain an option. The coach, Nigel and his manager met to agree the purpose and required outcome for the coaching for Nigel, the team and the organisation. Nigel needed to learn different ways to assert his authority, to understand his impact on others as well as to deal with that appropriately and to understand and meet his own needs.
Nigel was very willing to explore what was going wrong and quickly understood from the perspective of others. This was not a comfortable view for him to see. It took some time to wrestle with what was reasonable as his responsibility and what needed to stay as others responsibility. Within this he explored the concept that changing his behaviour could change the response he received from others.
It was soon clear to Nigel that he was weighed down with emotions and that this was impacting on his ability to read and respond appropriately to others. He identified for himself the need for professional help and sought it out. On returning to coaching Nigel has cleared his head and had done considerable thinking around the learning that had occurred in the initial coaching. He was clear that the only way he knew to get staff to do a job was to tell them and if they didn’t respond to his agenda then he would “ask” louder and more insistently, eventually getting cross. He explored how this might feel from others view point and was clear it needed to change. In doing this he saw that the timescales and outcomes he gave were often unclear and that his anxiety to get the job done was meaning he was not listening well.
The coaching helped him explore how to really listen to his staff and how to show that he was listening. He explored how to be clear about his own expectations and desired outcomes and how to offer these clearly to colleagues. He worked out how to be comfortable to work with colleagues on a solution based on both sides having a say. He moved from a manager who needs to always have the solution. On returning to work he was clear about his training and development needs (that they were practical and not theoretical). He asked for clear, objective feedback on what he did well and what needed changing and for a role model to show him the way forward. He was also very clear with his manager that he understood what their expectations of him were so that he could deliver them.
The experience of Nigel's staff was of a far more collaborative manager, who was more approachable and keen to learn from them as well as to share their expertise.
Trudy is second in department for team providing administrative and reception services in an organisation that works directly with the public. Her role requires her to deal with the public with other staff and to deliver the requirements of her team. When Trudy came to coaching she had been in the role for 18 months and wanted coaching to help her change job due to bullying from her line-manager. She felt she needed to leave before her self-esteem became so low that she wouldn’t be able to get another job. She was in a no-man’s land. Much about her job she loved but her manager was critical and undermined her in tasks and in front of others. 
Trudy has made a very significant impact on the relationship with her boss. Her change in style and clarity has increased mutual understanding and Trudy’s confidence in her own abilities have blossomed. 2 years on she has remained in the job and her manager has put her forward for promotion.