3D Coaching

3D Juggling 352: Magic Seats

Claire — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 08:28:22 +0000

Claire writes: ‘When we bought our car, all I knew was that it would be a supermini with room for 4 people and good fuel consumption. Being available in red was desirable but not essential! If that had been the final criteria, it would have been very difficult to chose between the makes we looked at – Citroen, Peugeot, Skoda, Renault etc. What allowed us to make an informed choice was that each garage was able to clearly communicate what they felt the added value was in their car. And we did a test drive. So we had to choose between interiors, boot space and leg room. On the way to buy the Toyota Yaris which fulfilled all the criteria except boot space, we stopped off at the Honda garage because it was raining. It was the leg room and the magic seats which made us buy the Honda. You can fold the back seats up or down. We didn’t know we needed that, but realised it would mean we could fit a bike in the back… or a large plant… or a big box of training materials.

When employers advertise for posts, they advertise the generic basics which are essential for the job. When we apply, we need to be really clear how we fit that and also what added value we bring so that they can decide who is the best fit for the job. That means that you need to be crystal clear what you bring before you even fill out the application. If you only answer the questions you are asked, there may be a significant piece of information which you forget to include. Until you are clear what you bring, the potential employer will not be able to find it out from you – however hard they try. Especially if you are changing sectors or applying for a different type of role. That’s why we spend a considerable amount of time with individuals and groups facing job changes simply asking: So what did you do? If you have a job change coming up, do you know all the generic skills you bring? And what evidence you have for them? It’s worth investing time to find that out BEFORE you start approaching employers.

And if you don’t know what you’re thinking unless you speak, don’t waste time siting staring at a blank computer screen or white paper… enlist a listening partner – a friend, colleague or a coach.

3D Juggling 561: Through The Looking Glass

Claire — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 16:10:15 +0000

Claire writes: “‘I didn’t mean it’. How often have you heard that – at home or at work? We judge ourselves on our intent. Yet we measure others by the impact which their communication has on us.

And that’s where most communication problems arise – where the impact is different from the intention. Especially when we are communicating with people whose style is very different from our own.

Think about it…”

And if you want to understand it even more, talk to us about how DiSC can help you be more confident that your impact is what you intended.
© 2012 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

3D Juggling 559: Let’s start at the very beginning

Claire — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 06:30:43 +0000

Claire writes: ‘Let’s start at the very beginning. It’s a very good place to start’, sang Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. Except when it isn’t!

When we start at the beginning in an interview, the interviewers never find out what they need to know. What needs to be known by the end that is not known at the beginning? That will tell you where to start.
When we start at the beginning in a thinking conversation, the thinker may never get beyond the story and what they know already. Where do we need to start is a question that only the thinker can answer.
When we start at the beginning in an appraisal or review conversation, where the person has already done preparation on paper, we end up going over old ground and creating the movie of the book – or ratifying the paperwork. You have already started out on this journey, where do we need to start today will mean that things are known by the end of the conversation that were not known at the beginning.

So unless it is the story that needs to be told, next time you’re tempted to start at the beginning, ask yourself and the person you are talking with: where do we need to start? Think about it…

3D Juggling 560: Engagement

Claire — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:42:17 +0000

Claire writes: “If you are involved in any kind of training, you’ll know the energy that comes from an engaged group. You will also have an opinion about happy sheets and evaluations and ongoing learning.

We notice that there is always a dilemma about the balance between a performance that people will rate and learning that will transform. We also notice that, too often, the trainer takes responsibility for making the event work! Transformation comes when the responsibility is shared – even if the delegates may need to work harder!

Some questions we like are:

What needs to be different by the end of the day so that you go home and say it was a valuable use of your time?
What do we need to do to make sure that happens?
What do you need to do?
How will you know you’ve got what you need?

We write them up – and then at half time, we do it again – asking them to tick off if they have already got what they need – and amend the contract if we need to deliver different material or material in a different way.

Sharing responsibility appropriately in the training room can also mean that responsibility is shared more appropriately back at work. Think about it…”

May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

Useful data

Claire — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:11:50 +0000

If you’re wondering what jobs pay how much, this data from The Guardian on salaries may come in useful

3D Juggling 558: Positive Feedback

Claire — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:14:11 +0000

Claire writes: “The other day I got some great customer service from someone and when we had finished on the phone, I asked to be put through to their manager. After a long period of canned music, the phone was answered with a silence in which I heard: What on EARTH are you going to complain about?

‘Please can I give you some positive feedback on your colleague?’ was followed by another silence and then a great conversation.

Too often we forget to give positive feedback as willingly as we complain.

Think about it next time you get some great customer service…”

3D Juggling 557: Mentor me

Claire — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 06:30:10 +0000

Claire writes: “This month, I was asked to write for a blog about empowering leaders. Who had empowered me?, they asked. I wrote about Mary Jo who both gave me the back room confidence to grow into a more public role – and Colin who got out of the way and gave me opportunities which he could have taken himself.

We can mentor people who do similar roles in different organisations – but when we mentor people who work closely with us – either as paid staff or volunteers – we have the influence to be able to be more strategic and give them new opportunities. That can mean giving them higher profile pieces of work that we would like to do ourselves. That’s how they develop their own talent.

Who is mentoring you? And more importantly, where are you getting out of the way and standing in the wings to allow others to grow, develop and flourish as leaders? Think about it…”

3D Juggling 556: Who’s Fault?

Claire — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 06:30:39 +0000

‘How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?’ Dr. Seuss

“Lynn writes: “I have just had a meeting with a client who was 50 minutes late for her appointment. This was 20 minutes late for what she believed was her appointment time and 30 minutes after the actual time we had arranged. Resisting the urge to be annoyed, or to say ‘It’s OK’ – which it wasn’t, I reflected on where the accountability should lie in what had happened. What should I be doing, firstly to hold myself accountable, and secondly to hold him accountable?

So I started our discussion not with ignoring or blame or minimising the impact, but with learning. ‘The learning for me is that a reminder text or e-mail yesterday would have been useful and appropriate. What have you learned?’

What followed was a deep and far reaching discussion in which he was able to honestly and openly see his tendency to cram too many activities into the day and his recognition that he is often chasing his tail, feeling guilty, disorganised and fraught.

By being honest and paying attention to keeping the responsibility between us, he now knows why he was late and what he needs to do if he chooses to change this behaviour and potential consequences if he doesn’t.

Where do you need to be keeping the responsibility in the middle? Think about it…”

[So by analysing the accountability we were able to see that as his coach it is appropriate for me to be managing his progress and accountability (and part of his progress is ensuring he knows when his appointments are) but it is not holding him accountable for his actions - it is about enabling him to hold himself accountable. ]

3D Juggling 555: Why didn’t they do it?

Claire — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 06:30:17 +0000

Jane writes: “At the end of a management development programme I attended many years ago the facilitator drew a tombstone on the flip chart which bore the legend ‘Knew it but didn’t do it’. The message was clear – go out and put what you’ve learned into practice! Knowing what to do and how to do it isn’t enough, but taking action can often be really difficult.

When we work with clients we help them to explore alternative ideas and solutions. We assume that these exist and encourage them to consider this by asking ‘what else?’ until no more emerge. Sometimes we’ll contribute a suggestion to encourage more thinking – although it’s only ever a suggestion, never a proposal. When they come up with something and then dismiss is, we ask ‘why not?’ or ‘what would make that possible?’ The more options, the more likely that they’ll find one, or a combination of them, that they can really commit to undertaking. And then we’ll help them to work out how to make it happen. Then they do it.

This involves Creating Awareness and Designing Actions, numbers 8 and 9 of the ICF Core Competencies

What aren’t you applying? Think about it…”

3D Juggling 554: Receiving

Claire — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 08:50:13 +0000

Claire writes: ‘For the second time in 3 years, we have had a leaky pipe and water damage at home. This time two of us had to move out for a month and we are now left with no kitchen for the next few weeks at least.

We are learning so much. People, mostly, are wonderful when we give them the chance to be! And to allow people to give, others need to receive. How often in the community or at work do we settle into the role of giver or receiver? And how often do we label others?

Being rather dependent on others for cooking meals for several weeks has been a wonderful experience of conversations. And huge learning about the power relationships surrounding giving and receiving. Simon Walker writes that ‘Receiving involves placing yourself in someone’s debt and accepting with humility the service of another. It takes away your control and invites you to allow someone else to love you and have power over you.’

How often have you said ‘You can’t’ ‘You shouldn’t have’ ‘You mustn’t’ when someone gives to you. I have – even though I first learned not to say that a very long time ago in Kenya when a very poor family gave me 4 eggs – which was all that they had. To have refused would have disempowered them. And now the lesson has returned. What a gift it can be to others when we receive thankfully and graciously – and allow others to have power.

So if you’re a giver who doesn’t like receiving or if you always say – I couldn’t possibly accept… what will you do differently this Christmas?

Think about it…”