3D Juggling 608: Rock, Paper, Scissors

April 15, 2013 By Leave a Comment

Claire writes: “Rock, paper scissors the game – whatever you do, it’s not clear which is the most important – it changes all the time. Whether we are coaching, or doing any other kind of one to ones, many of us are working in complex organisations or situations where it is not clear what is the most important thing. Complexity is complex.  Michael Carroll says that ‘everything we do in our work has an ethical underpinning’.  It’s about the values we hold and the choices we make.  We notice that professional bodies have great ethical codes which focus on the encounter with the room – trust, confidentiality, appropriate behaviour etc.  But when we solely focus on the person we are working with, we can miss some important understandings

  • Who IS the customer or client? The individual – or the organisation – or other stakeholders?
  • How do you keep the needs of the organisation in the room – as well as the individual?
  • we don’t know what we don’t know

We notice that there are particular ethical issues that emerge in this complexity.  That’s why I am speaking tomorrow about the ethics of working in organisations. It would be great to see you at the University of Hertfordshire at 6 if you are able to come!

Particularly if you are an external coach or consultant – or if you hire people in for training, coaching, consulting or facilitation,

  • where are you asking the joining up questions?
  • how do you challenge the organisation to embed learning from diverse places when many different solutions are being bought in – even if it means that you will lose your work?
  • where do you explore the thics of working with many individuals in the same organisation?

Of course there are no clear rules, but in his book, ethicability Roger Steare raises some great questions

  • What are the RULES?
  • Are we acting with INTEGRITY?
  • Who is this GOOD for?
  • Who could we HARM?
  • What’s the TRUTH?

We have contributed a case study about this to the new book Creating a Coaching Culture for Managers in your Organisation – and of course our thinking is developing all the time!

© 2013 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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3D Juggling 569: Changing Hats

April 27, 2012 By Leave a Comment

Claire writes: ‘Most of us are in multiple roles – we may be the manager, friend and supervisor of a colleague; we may the parent, the nurturer and the performance manager at home.  And we are changing roles all the time.

This can be confusing to the person we are talking with.  Are you saying that you think another job would be great for me as my friend? I receive that as supportive and developmental feedback. Or as my manager when I may think you are preparing to fire me?

In coaching, you may be tempted to change hats to consultant, counsellor, manager, supervisor, mentor, pastor or spiritual director.  In pure coaching that is actually unethical, but many people operate in several arenas.  What’s important is that you ask the consent of your client to change, only do so if they agree – and then change back.

Next time you shift roles think about whether what you are about to say could be read as ambiguous – and tell your companion which hat you’re wearing.  Don’t expect them to take the role of mind reader? Think about it…’

© 2012 3D Coaching Ltd
May be distributed freely.  Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.comed to the listening  exercise: Active seeing is as important as active listening. Think about it…”

Other hats

This has absolutely nothing to do with Edward de Bono’s six thinking hats except that it reminds us of them.  They’re useful.  If you don’t know what they are, have a look at a summary or a video if that will work better for you (fast forward the beginning)

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Should I or shouldn’t I?

December 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Sometimes when we’re working with clients in organisations we discover something that is harming them, someone else, or the organisation. What should we do? We have agreed to maintain the strictest levels of confidentiality and we know that by doing so we may be allowing harm to continue. An ethical dilemma. We minimise the risk when we’re coaching by exploring what should happen if a situation like this arises before we start working with a client. It’s part of the contracting process .

We are likely to experience ethical dilemmas every day, and have private conversations with ourselves about whether we should say something, do something, or keep what we know to ourselves. When thinking about what to do a critical question for us should be ‘who/what may I be harming here?’

This involves Meeting Ethical Guidelines and Professional Standards, Establishing the Coaching Agreement, numbers 1 and 2 of the  ICF Core Competencies

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3D Juggling 552: Ethical Dilemmas

December 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Jane writes: The summer riots raised many questions about values, morals and what is/isn’t acceptable behaviour within our communities. These questions apply whether the community we refer to is the place we live, an organisation we work in or contribute to, our family.

I caught up recently with a friend of mine who is working overseas. He described a Board meeting where the CEO deliberately humiliated his brother-in-law, an Executive Director, to punish him for a mistake he had made. My friend, the General Manager of the organisation, was appalled – this did not fit with the behavioural standards he was used to in the UK, or with the stated values of the organisation. He took some time to reflect on this incident, on his own and with the CEO, and a number of questions emerged. One of them was this: when working in a country where corruption, bribes and bullying are how business gets done, how can I maintain my ethical standards whilst also enabling my organisation to thrive?

Who decides what’s acceptable, what’s OK? You? Me? Them? We all have a view and they won’t all be the same. And who’s to say which is right? The reality is that they will all be right – for someone.
So what are ethics? The values and customs in the lives of particular groups of human beings are described as their ethics, and we experience these through notions such as rightness and wrongness. We meet ethical dilemmas on a daily basis. Do I share what I know about a planned restructure before the ‘official’ announcement? Do I challenge someone’s poor performance when I know their mother is dying?
In his book, ethicability, Roger Steare offers some questions that may help us to decide what’s ‘right’:

  • What are the rules?
  • Are we acting with integrity?
  • Who is this good for?
  • Who could we harm?
  •  What’s the truth?

As coaches we are guided by the International Coach Federation Code of Ethics.

What are you guided by?

Contact us if you’re facing an ethical dilemma and would like support to work out how to resolve it.

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Keeping the responsibility in the middle

November 8, 2011 By 1 Comment

In any kind of reflective conversation, it’s important that the facilitator/ coach/ reviewer/ consultant doesn’t take over and that the responsibility is appropriately in the middle.  Here’s how:

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3D Juggling 437: Spinning Coffee

July 13, 2009 By Leave a Comment

Jane writes: “I was working round my kitchen table a few days ago with Claire and Lynn. Two of us were reflecting on a business meeting from which we had just returned, and between us we were working on two documents that had to be completed that day that may give 3D access to some new clients. We were running on all motors.

It was a hot day and time for another drink. Claire asked if I had any ‘real’ coffee. Lynn laughed, because what Claire didn’t know was that what works for her (caffeine) doesn’t work for me. Lynn was remembering the time when I drank a glass of coca cola and a coffee in a restuarant one Wednesday evening (both drinks I never usually touch) and then spent the night awake and couldn’t function at all the next day! Claire had to make do with a cup of tea.

On reflection, maybe what works for Claire could work for me – if I put my own spin on it. A small bar of chocolate maybe…

As a coach I avoid telling my clients what I would do in their situation – even if they ask me. What I am willing to do if they get stuck is offer them a suggestion, which they can dismiss or ‘spin’ until it makes sense in their world.

When did you last set someone spinning?”

© 2009 3D Coaching Ltd May be distributed freely. Please retain contact details: www.3dcoaching.com and send a copy/ link to info@3dcoaching.com

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3D Juggling 353: Parler Francais

October 18, 2007 By Leave a Comment

Claire writes: ‘We spent a great weekend in Le Touquet in September.  Why Le Touquet?  It was the only hotel room we could find in Northern France during the Rugby World Cup and we had booked Eurotunnel tickets with Tesco Clubcard vouchers without realising France was already full!

With A level French and several student summers spent in France, I am reasonably confident… so I went up to the information desk in the Pas de Calais and asked: Excusez moi, madame, ou est Tesco? The reply was ‘Down there on the right’.  We had the same experience in other shops in Calais. We spoke in French and were always answered in English. So it was a delight to get to Le Touquet where they let us all try out our French without trying to rescue us.  At a restaurant the following day when we were given an English menu, we were asked if we wanted to order in French or English. We chose French – quite a feat when the whole menu was in English!

How will Lucy and Ellie develop their French if French people in France always speak to them in English?  How will I maintain and develop my language skills?  We won’t. That’s a really important lesson for developing staff, colleagues, volunteers and even family.  When people keep rescuing us, we don’t learn.  When we keep rescuing people, they don’t learn.  Development can be slow and stilted but fluency only comes through practice – whatever the task.’

(c) 2007 3D Coaching Ltd

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