'Thank you for your help in getting me into a position and frame of mind to accept the (more senior) post. You have both over the years made me think more carefully about my ministry and my skills. So some credit is due to you.' TS Home
PYou homed in on the central issues like "a heat-seeking missile" JB
Diane writes: 'A few weeks ago I was observing a coach in order to give feedback against the International Coach Federation Coaching Competencies, the industry gold standard. The client had asked the coach to allow silences to happen. That's often where the learning takes place. Five minutes into the conversation there was a wonderful silence and in it I spotted five of the eleven ICF coaching competencies:
Establishing trust and intimacy with the client (3)
Coaching presence (4)
Active listening (5)
Direct communication (7)
Creating awareness (8)
What a powerful coaching tool silence is! Two key points come out of this story for me. The first is the importance of establishing an agreement about how to work during each conversation. We call that contracting. Contracts and clear agreements form the basis of good practice, setting goals and outlining boundaries so that both coach and client know what to expect. They form an important reference point in the coaching partnership, enabling the coach and client to check that they are on track, doing what they had undertaken to do.
Contracts can relate to the overall process, the individual session and also to a segment of a coaching session, when coach and client are able to re-negotiate the contract as the session develops. It is the responsibility of the coach to make sure that their contracts with clients are specific and comprehensive. A clear contract sets boundaries which create a safe space for the coaching to happen. Time invested in contracting is well spent and never wasted, it is not time out of the coaching session. It is time invested in it.
The second piece of learning is that silence is a powerful coaching tool. I recently read an article about a coach who was anxious because she felt she had come out of a coaching session not having asked enough questions. I want to challenge this view of coaching. Questions are important and powerful, but so is silence. New coaches often worry about the questions they “should “ be asking Sometimes this can be a barrier to effective coaching. If we are thinking about the next question, how well are we listening?
If this has underlined for you the value of benchmarking and supervision, call Claire to talk more about how we can help you stay at the peak of good practice in the way you use coaching. 0845 458 0154.
Diane writes: 'A few weeks ago I was observing a coach in order to give feedback against the International Coach Federation Coaching Competencies, the industry gold standard. The client had asked the coach to allow silences to happen. That's often where the learning takes place. Five minutes into the conversation there was a wonderful silence and in it I spotted five of the eleven ICF coaching competencies: 
What a powerful coaching tool silence is! Two key points come out of this story for me. The first is the importance of establishing an agreement about how to work during each conversation. We call that contracting. Contracts and clear agreements form the basis of good practice, setting goals and outlining boundaries so that both coach and client know what to expect. They form an important reference point in the coaching partnership, enabling the coach and client to check that they are on track, doing what they had undertaken to do.